A true Chihuahua story – specially for Aussies

Did you know Chihuahuas were used to kill snakes? I found out the hard way

Just over 21 years ago I was on my way to make a speech at a posh club in Melbourne. It was a blazing hot summer day.

As I walked through the car park outside the club I saw a little Chihuahua tethered to a car door in all that heat. I felt really sorry for the dog and bent over to pat him (or her – I didn’t stay to find out).

The tiny beast leapt forward and sank his teeth in my brand new trousers, just below the knee. I don’t like to boast, but a couple of inches more and it could have been a lasting personal tragedy.

But enough of that trouser-snake story – which is absolutely true, except the boasting, ladies. It was just an intro to this excellent joke.

Two friends were out for a Saturday walk. One had a Doberman; the other
had a Chihuahua.

As they sauntered down the street, the guy with Doberman
said to his friend, “Let’s go over to that bar and get a drink,”

The guy with the Chihuahua said, “we can’t go in there. We’ve got our dogs
with us.” The one with the Doberman said, “Just follow my lead.”

So, they walked over to the bar and the guy with the Doberman puts on a pair of
dark glasses and starts to walk in.

The bouncer at the door said, “Sorry, Mac, no pets allowed.”

The man with the Doberman said, “You don’t understand. This is my Guide

The bouncer said, “a Doberman Pinscher?”

The man said, “Yes, they’re using them now. They’re very good.”

The bouncer said, “OK, Come on in.”

The buddy with the Chihuahua figured, what the heck, so he put on a pair of
dark glasses and started to walk in. He knew his hound would be more unbelievable.

Once again the bouncer said, “Sorry, pal, no pets allowed.”

The man with the Chihuahua said, “You don’t understand. This is my guide dog.”

The bouncer said, “A Chihuahua?”

The man with the Chihuahua said, “A CHIHUAHUA?!!”

They gave me a f*****g CHIHUAHUA?

About the Author


In 2003, the Chartered Institute of Marketing named Drayton one of 50 living individuals who have shaped today’s marketing.

He has worked in 55 countries with many of the world’s greatest brands. These include American Express, Audi, Bentley, British Airways, Cisco, Columbia Business School, Deutsche Post, Ford, IBM, McKinsey, Mercedes, Microsoft, Nestle, Philips, Procter & Gamble, Toyota, Unilever, Visa and Volkswagen.

Drayton has helped sell everything from Airbus planes to Peppa Pig. His book, Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing, out in 17 languages, has been the UK’s best seller on the subject every year since 1982. He has also run his own businesses in the U.K., Portugal and Malaysia.

He was a main board member of the Ogilvy Group, a founding member of the Superbrands Organisation, one of the first eight Honorary Fellows of the Institute of Direct Marketing and one of the first three people named to the Hall of Fame of the Direct Marketing Association of India. He has also been given Lifetime Achievement Awards by the Caples Organisation in New York and Early To Rise in Florida.


  1. haha – That was a good one Drayton! I own a Cocker Spaniel myself…

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