Where do the intellectual sweepings of the gutter end up?

Are all bank systems designed by cretins, or is it just Lloyds’?

Yesterday they refused me cash, no doubt because their sophisticated multi-million-pound computers, worried about fraud, haven’t noticed I visit the US 5 or 6 times a year and have done for the last decade, almost always to the same places.

Clearly when I tried to get money from a machine I have used scores of times over the years using the right card with the right password I must have been a crook impersonating myself.

That was “sorted out” after a call from my office – NOT – because they did it again, the next day. Having a passport didn’t help either.

The people I feel sympathy for – besides the customers – are the poor staff, subjected to the mindless vagaries of a management clearly unable to manage anything more complex than occasional self-abuse punctuated by obscene bonuses

I recall talking years ago to the bank manager from my Lloyds branch (when they had managers) who listened patiently to my wails of anguish for a while, then said, “You should see what they do to us”.

Their head office should be dynamited and their senior management ritually raped by angry, diseased, massively equipped buffaloes. Good for nothing but extortion modified by incompetence and rapacity.