Once again Melbourne’s very own Ryan Wallman spots the phonies
I’ve run one of Ryan’s pieces before. The man is good. Here’s another rib-tickler:
How to become a famous marketer
First, choose a successful form of marketing that has been tried and tested over many decades.
Declare this form of marketing to be dead.
Justify this declaration on the basis that modern consumers are infinitely more intelligent than all who have come before them, and are therefore immune to traditional marketing. Do not feel obliged to support this assertion with any evidence.
Announce to the world that you have created a new form of marketing (or rather, a ‘novel marketing paradigm’). This can be either:
the polar opposite of the one you have declared to be dead, or
exactly the same as the one you have declared to be dead, but with a different name.
Give your new creation a catchy title that reflects the modern marketing zeitgeist. For the sake of argument, let’s call it ‘Sewer Marketing’.
Publish a book called Sewer Marketing.
Do a tour to promote yourself… er, your book.
Bask in the effusive praise of gullible people.