I’ve come across a few examples of rank incompetence in my time, but this really took the biscuit …

Just so you don’t make the same mistake she did, the firm is called Brighthouse. A bad joke, as you will see

It happened to a lady who is a business associate. She’s a single mother which didn’t help.

Here’s the story, as she put it to the incompetents responsible …

Dear Not-So-Brighthouse

I ordered a few things (washing, dryer, fridge) and the store forgot to sort delivery.

Whoops! We all forget, I guess.

So I reminded them and was told delivery would take place on the 14th.

(longest “within seven days” ever)

No worries I guess…. I’m just paying for things I don’t have! Much fun.

However yesterday I got a call informing me they were 5 mins away!! Well! What a surprise that was.

So I moved the old things out the way in record time. I think even Bolt would have struggled to keep up.

I also now believe I should enter some weight lifting comp as I did it all on my own.

Had to as my very strong man friend was expecting to be of assistance on the 14th – when they said they would be delivered

I was told in store that as long as I had the pipes then they would undo (ha) old and put in new….

Apparently not.

They attempted to do it but then said they couldn’t undo the pipes…. (you’ll see why this was bull-poop later).

So we get the fridge in. It’s awesome! It has a wine cooler system….though my friends tell me it’s actually for water….

(They are no longer my friends. I don’t need that negativity in my life, am I right ladies??)

I’m then told they don’t have the tumble dryer…

Minor inconvenience but hey….maybe the next delivery drivers will be totally hot!

Then the washing machine, I look at it and realise it’s not the one i ordered….. it’s snazzy but wrong.

You see…. my home is me and 2 boys, a best friend, air b&b up to 6…..aaannnddd my partner and his kids are about to move over…. a teeny 8kg won’t cope with the entire cheaper by the dozen cast!!!

(Btw total lie! It is not cheaper by the dozen).

I told them this but they weren’t interested and also didn’t find my joke funny…. and told me to take it up with my store. Cheers guys!!

Then they left without the washing machine, leaving it in my kitchen not the utility area. They also left no instructions… Now I’m a Capricorn… I like instructions

So what happens next?…. This is the super cool part!

When pratting around feigning impressive weakness with the pipes….they had undone them.

Did they tell me? Don’t be silly!

I run air b&b so had to get some sheets washed.

I’m sat in my living room watching Poldark, that man is right lush!!…. Anyway I hear this noise… this distant trickling.

Now since my kids, my bladder isn’t all it’s cracked up to be but it definitely wasn’t me.

So like Mo Farrah on speed I dash to my kitchen before the sound of Poldark’s gun! (Sure there’s another euphemism in there somewhere).

Lo and behold! Sweet Jesus. I have an indoor pool!!!

So it started spraying water everywhere from the pipes

By the time I heard the trickle the kitchen was flooded! Like Moses with the Red Sea I called on Oh my God… to part it to get through (clearly me and God aren’t close)

Then I consider how to build a boat…..Another time…. so I take my very nice trousers off as I don’t want them to get wet and in I go for the swim….aiming for gold.

Lots of Olympic refs really aren’t there?

So the water trips the switch box which in turn makes the washing machine switch off…phew….oh…no phew…with the power off the washing machine door opened and out came a bazillion million gallons of water to add to the floods literally knocking me off my feet.

(She’s quite a small girl – D)

I scream the most girly scream and I scramble towards the utility room desperate to stop the water. I’m sat soaked in my pants by this point, crying, trying to force the door shut.

My 9 year old comes dashing in and also has a little swim.

I tell him how to turn the lever to switch to stop the water, he turns it and the water stops – mostly, as it’s a bit stiff… I instruct him on the turning of the pipes…he struggles, so dashes off with me shouting at him to get his little ass back…. where did he go?

Well you see my son is a little genius – he has even invented a new type of prosthetic limb which when I’m a millionaire I’ll be able to patent for him.

So my son had run off knowing that pliers would make this job easier and he knew exactly where to find them!!! Little legend!!!

He comes back. he uses the pliers and manages to turn the pipes all the way off and put them in a bucket.. . He is 9 and has no upper body strength …..so your guys need to clearly work out more or learn to not lie.

So by now we have used every single towel every single sheet to stop the flood getting past the kitchen onto the carpet and trying desperately to mop the rest up.

About two hours later we have achieved this.

I have called the store several times who are promising  a call back that I have yet to receive.

So my electrics are tripped because my old washing machine has water damage and now doesn’t work at all!!! Thanks guys, you owe me a washing machine!!! Not even joking, it was amazing and working and now you killed it.

I have managed to plug the new wrong one in so I can at least wash every single thing in my home used to mop up this disaster.

This needs sorting!!!

Sincerely a very annoyed customer.

 

 

 

About the Author

Drayton

In 2003, the Chartered Institute of Marketing named Drayton one of 50 living individuals who have shaped today’s marketing.

He has worked in 55 countries with many of the world’s greatest brands. These include American Express, Audi, Bentley, British Airways, Cisco, Columbia Business School, Deutsche Post, Ford, IBM, McKinsey, Mercedes, Microsoft, Nestle, Philips, Procter & Gamble, Toyota, Unilever, Visa and Volkswagen.

Drayton has helped sell everything from Airbus planes to Peppa Pig. His book, Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing, out in 17 languages, has been the UK’s best seller on the subject every year since 1982. He has also run his own businesses in the U.K., Portugal and Malaysia.

He was a main board member of the Ogilvy Group, a founding member of the Superbrands Organisation, one of the first eight Honorary Fellows of the Institute of Direct Marketing and one of the first three people named to the Hall of Fame of the Direct Marketing Association of India. He has also been given Lifetime Achievement Awards by the Caples Organisation in New York and Early To Rise in Florida.

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