Anyone out there who can tell me how this makes anything even vaguely resembling sense?
My colleagues and I are organising a conference in Brussels (which means they’re actually organising it and I’m asking irrelevant questions).
Anyhow, my PA Iane – aka The Brazilian Bombshell – is checking out hotels and this is what happens when she talks to one which I will call for the sake of argument The Stanhope. They quote a ludicrous rate per delegate so Iane says, “But I’ve seen a much lower rate for you on Expedia.”
The lady at the other end – get this – says, “Oh, if that’s the case, why don’t you book through them?”
No, you didn’t read wrong, friends. Rather than match the Expedia price, she is willing to let us book through them and pay commission. So the hotel screws itself twice.
I just take my hat off to that. It’s almost as stupid as the way Peter Jones in Chelsea handle customers.
This will be the subject of a forthcoming piece I guarantee will give you a few laughs.
It will tell how everyone we’ve dealt with since February from the Chairman down in a vain attempt to get a pair of curtains made has been – with two helpful exceptions – either dilatory, rude, incompetent, smug, dozy, unable to read, thick, bossy or just plain useless.
Interestingly, the Chairman is called “Charlie”. Very appropriate – as you will see -if you know what that name implies to most English people.
Here are some reasons people are now afraid to book trough EXPEDIA:
http://www.expedianews.com
Priceless.
I had a similar experience at PC World last week. I wanted to buy a snazzy new laptop which they were selling for £999.
I found it on their site online, but it said it was only available for pick up in store, no home delivery option. Strange, I thought, but I was willing to go and pick it up from the local store so that was okay.
However, when I tried to order it online to pick up in my local (Norwich) store, I got a message telling me the nearest store I could pick it up from was Cambridge, over 70 miles away.
I thought there must be some mistake, so I called PC world and explained that, as I was offering to put almost thousand quid’s worth of business their way, and as we were almost 10 years into the 21st Century, with all the advantages of the modern communications infrastructure, was it not possible for them to somehow get the laptop to norwich, where I lived.
The conversation went something like this:
“Sorry sir, we have none of that particular item in stock in norwich.”
“I know, that’s why I called. To see if you could deliver one there.”
“I’m sorry sir, that’s not company policy.”
“Perhaps you should make it company policy.”
“Pardon?”
“I don’t mind if you don’t deliver it to my home, if you could just transfer one to your norwich superstore, I could pick it up. I’ll even pay for the courier to transfer it for you.”
“Sorry sir, that’s not company policy?”
“Why not?”
“Pardon?”
“Have you ever heard of the concept of customer service?”
Then she parroted the manual back at me. I asked to speak to her manager, and got the same tripe. I asked to be put through to their complaints department, and had a soul-destroying conversation with a very abrupt young man who seemed about fifteen years of age, and wasn’t taking any shit. I pointed out to him that I wanted to spend almost grand with PC world, by ordering one of their laptops, and all I wanted was for them to get it to somewhere near where I lived, and not have to drive half way across the world to pick it up. Was that too much to ask. Astonishingly, for someone in a ‘complaints’ department, where you would expect a rather more diplomatically trained staff to work, he was actually quite rude and dismissive, and when I said I had no alternative but to take my £900 elsewhere, his response was along the lines of, whatever.
I went into my local norwich pc world to see if I could get the manager there to swing something for me, as I really wanted this laptop and it wasn’t available anywhere else.
Guess what. You know when you don’t want to be hassled in a store and every assistant in the store makes a bee line for you and asks you if you need anything? And when you DO need assistance, you can’t find anyone for love nor money? Well this was worse. I couldn’t find the manager so I stood waiting near this member of staff who I thought was talking to a customer. It turned out to be his girlfriend. As, after 5 minutes, he started kissing and hugging her, in the store, while I stood by waiting, about 5 yards away. I even waved to get his attention, but he was obviously on to far too good a thing to let work get in the way.
So I walked out in disgust,and will spend my money elsewhere.
It makes you wonder how these companies make any money.
Whatever.
Archie
Sadly, that is employees for you!
Elmer Wheeler, a long forgotten, and well-respected copywriter of the old school, used to go round to businesses and sell them the concept of what he called “tested selling sentences.”
In his books, Tested Sentences That Sell and Sizzlemanship, he explains how to use low-pressure invisible selling at the coalface of retail.
Unfortunately, these days, most employees don’t get the connection between their jobs and the money that the companies make.
It’s a bit like that old Russian joke about communism “they pretend to pay us, and we pretend to work.”