Loathsome media nag slapped down. Hurrah!

My Australian partner Mal sent me this, and I must say it filled me with fierce joy.

Major General Peter Cosgrove is an “Australian treasure” who was interviewed on the radio recently by one of those politically correct horrors who seem to emerge mysteriously like evil-smelling bubbles of gas from a swamp.

Germaine Greer is the first who comes to mind. My second wife Anna, whom I mentioned a few days ago used to work as a waitress with Germaine before she became famous.

We were both mystified by the way the papers used to say that Greer was beautiful when she had all the allure of clothes-peg with tits.

“Actually,” said Anna, “when I knew her she could never laid to save her life – and God knows she tried. The trouble is she was such a bore. Never stopped talking which put the men off. She was always bloody desperate.”

Anyhow, back to the story about the general.

Regardless of how you feel about gun laws, you’ll love his reply to the interviewer, who was clearly one of You know: the sort you want to strangle.

It’s one of the best comeback lines of all time. The General was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military headquarters.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:

So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

GENERAL COSGROVE:

We’re going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:

Shooting! That’s a bit irresponsible, isn’t it?

GENERAL COSGROVE:

I don’t see why, they’ll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:

Don’t you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL COSGROVE:

I don’t see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:

But you’re equipping them to become violent killers.

GENERAL COSGROVE:

Well, Ma’am, you’re equipped to be a prostitute, but you’re not one, are you?

End of interview. Ha!

About the Author

In 2003, the Chartered Institute of Marketing named Drayton one of 50 living individuals who have shaped today’s marketing.

He has worked in 55 countries with many of the world’s greatest brands. These include American Express, Audi, Bentley, British Airways, Cisco, Columbia Business School, Deutsche Post, Ford, IBM, McKinsey, Mercedes, Microsoft, Nestle, Philips, Procter & Gamble, Toyota, Unilever, Visa and Volkswagen.

Drayton has helped sell everything from Airbus planes to Peppa Pig. His book, Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing, out in 17 languages, has been the UK’s best seller on the subject every year since 1982. He has also run his own businesses in the U.K., Portugal and Malaysia.

He was a main board member of the Ogilvy Group, a founding member of the Superbrands Organisation, one of the first eight Honorary Fellows of the Institute of Direct Marketing and one of the first three people named to the Hall of Fame of the Direct Marketing Association of India. He has also been given Lifetime Achievement Awards by the Caples Organisation in New York and Early To Rise in Florida.

2 Comments

  1. Brilliant comeback!

    Unfortunately, she probably didn’t understand it.

  2. The very model of a modern Major General!

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