98 and no enemies – another tale to tug at the heart-strings

Did you know that Bird flu, which is nothing to do with me, but was going to kill tens of millions, has caused at least 245 deaths in the last ten years.

Swine flu looks like another threat, but is nothing to do with Flatulent Toad Flu, a rare beneficial variant that only attacks one-eyed liars in Downing Street and their associates.

In such troubled times, it is heartening to read the following, sent to me by Malcolm Auld, the Ocker Sage of Manly Beach:

Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, ‘ How many of you have forgiven your enemies? ‘

80% held up their hands.

The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.

‘Mrs. Neely?’; ‘ Are you not willing to forgive your enemies? ‘

I don’t have any. ‘She replied, smiling sweetly.

‘Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual. How old are you? ‘

‘Ninety-eight, ‘she replied. The congregation stood up and clapped their hands.

‘Oh, Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world? ‘

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said, ‘ I outlived the bitches. ‘

About the Author

In 2003, the Chartered Institute of Marketing named Drayton one of 50 living individuals who have shaped today’s marketing.

He has worked in 55 countries with many of the world’s greatest brands. These include American Express, Audi, Bentley, British Airways, Cisco, Columbia Business School, Deutsche Post, Ford, IBM, McKinsey, Mercedes, Microsoft, Nestle, Philips, Procter & Gamble, Toyota, Unilever, Visa and Volkswagen.

Drayton has helped sell everything from Airbus planes to Peppa Pig. His book, Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing, out in 17 languages, has been the UK’s best seller on the subject every year since 1982. He has also run his own businesses in the U.K., Portugal and Malaysia.

He was a main board member of the Ogilvy Group, a founding member of the Superbrands Organisation, one of the first eight Honorary Fellows of the Institute of Direct Marketing and one of the first three people named to the Hall of Fame of the Direct Marketing Association of India. He has also been given Lifetime Achievement Awards by the Caples Organisation in New York and Early To Rise in Florida.

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