Ghouls from banks strike again

A lady died this past September, and MBNA bank billed her for October and November for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge.


The balance that had been £0.00, got to somewhere around £60.00.

A family member placed a call to the MBNA Bank.

Family Member ‘I am calling to tell you that she died in September.’

MBNA: ‘The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.’

Family Member ‘Maybe you should turn it over to collections.’

MBNA: ‘Since it is two months past due, it already has been.’

Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?’

MBNA: ‘Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to the
credit bureau, maybe both!’

Family Member: ‘Do you think God will be mad at her?’

MBNA:’Excuse me?’

Family Member: ‘Did you just get what I was telling you? The part about her being dead?’

MBNA: ‘Sir, you’ll have to speak to my supervisor.’ Supervisor gets on the phone:

Family Member: ‘I’m calling to tell you, she died in September.’

MBNA: ‘The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.’

Family Member: ‘You mean you want to collect from her estate?’

MBNA: (Stammer) ‘Are you her lawyer?’

Family Member: ‘No, I’m her grandson’ (Lawyer info given)

MBNA: ‘Could you fax us a certificate of death?’

Family Member: ‘Sure.’ (Fax number given)

After they get the fax:

MBNA: ‘Our system just isn’t set up for death. I don’t know what more I can do to help.’

Family Member: ‘Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don’t think she will care.’

MBNA: ‘Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.’

Family Member: ‘Would you like her new billing address?’

MBNA: ‘That might help.’

Family Member: ‘ Heaton Cemetery, Heaton Road , Bradford Plot 1049.’

MBNA: ‘Sir, that’s a cemetery!’

Family Member: ‘Well, what the **** do you do with dead people on your planet?’

MBNA were not available for comment when a reporter from the Newcastle Evening Chronicle rang.

About the Author

In 2003, the Chartered Institute of Marketing named Drayton one of 50 living individuals who have shaped today’s marketing.

He has worked in 55 countries with many of the world’s greatest brands. These include American Express, Audi, Bentley, British Airways, Cisco, Columbia Business School, Deutsche Post, Ford, IBM, McKinsey, Mercedes, Microsoft, Nestle, Philips, Procter & Gamble, Toyota, Unilever, Visa and Volkswagen.

Drayton has helped sell everything from Airbus planes to Peppa Pig. His book, Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing, out in 17 languages, has been the UK’s best seller on the subject every year since 1982. He has also run his own businesses in the U.K., Portugal and Malaysia.

He was a main board member of the Ogilvy Group, a founding member of the Superbrands Organisation, one of the first eight Honorary Fellows of the Institute of Direct Marketing and one of the first three people named to the Hall of Fame of the Direct Marketing Association of India. He has also been given Lifetime Achievement Awards by the Caples Organisation in New York and Early To Rise in Florida.

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