Could the people at Talk-Talk, BT, Sky, Ofcom and so on find their own arseholes without a flashlight? Or what happens if you’re not Lord Sugar

“I contacted TalkTalk on Tuesday 23rd November to report my phone out of order. I told them I could not receive incoming calls but could still make calls. My landline was not showing my correct phone number.

Later that day I received a text from TT to say that “initial testing has been inconclusive. We are now carrying out further testing. We will keep you informed.”

And a further text, “Our initial investigation discovered a fault on your line and we will confirm this status within 1 hour.” And another text, “Following further investigation on your fault. Please reply FIXED or NOT FIXED, to which my reply was ‘not fixed’.

The next day I called the technical support team again and I was told that it appeared there was an ‘unsolicited cease order’ on my line as someone at my address had requested to be moved to another provider.

I replied that I had made no such request. I asked if it was possible that the first floor flat, who have the same address, had, as new tenants had recently moved in, and I was told it was unlikely as they would have a different line.

I called again on Thursday 25th November and was told the problem was a crossed line which could take up to 5 days to resolve and if I had not heard anything by Monday 29th, I should call again.

Then I received a further text saying a problem could not be found etc. I called yet again on the Monday. They were still investigating the problem – and again on Tuesday 30th I was told by a second line technical support person that my line had been disconnected as someone at my address had requested to move to another provider.

I contacted BT who told me it would probably be TT or Sky who had done this.

As I was, or had been, with TT, Sky appeared to be the culprits, so I contacted Sky who confirmed that this 0203 number was theirs.

I spent most of Tuesday phoning TT customer services and sales department without being able to speak to anyone in authority (ALL of their managers were in a meeting) trying to explain that Sky had taken over my line without my consent (I had been “slammed”) only to be told more than once that I am a NEW CUSTOMER and would have to pay a reconnection charge of £79.99.

I contacted Sky again who confirmed that they had wrongly transferred my line but they could not connect me back up and TT were the only ones who could. These calls went on and I could get nowhere apart from Sky saying if I invoice them for the costs involved in getting a line back they would look at it.

On Friday 3rd December I spoke to Ofcom who advised me to log complaints against both TT and Sky and get connected with another provider.

I rang BT and told them the situation. They first said they would place the order for a line connection but when they ran a check on my property they told me that the line at this address was owned by Sky and they could do nothing for me.

I contacted TT again who told me I had been slammed and agreed to waive the reconnection charge but it would be 6 – 10 days for the line to be connected.

Later that day I received a text from TT saying “we are working hard to get you set up”. At 6.30pm a further text was sent announcing that “an engineer needs to visit your home to activate your TalkTalk phone and broadband service on 29.12.2010 between 08.00 – 13.00.< I complained to TalkTalk yet again about the length of time involved in getting my line back and that they were treating me like a new customer only to be told that there was nothing they could do to bring the date forward. They did agree to pay £20 for an O2 dongle (but I had to pay a further £15 for the credit which they didn’t mention). This was a complete non starter. O2 were contacted about the lack of a connection and advised me that this was due to adverse weather conditions and engineers were working on the problem. I have now bought a dongle from TMobile for £40 (all in) and this is providing an excellent connection – funny that because the weather is pretty much the same. By the time I get connected again, I will have been without a line for almost 6 weeks and when I do get connected it will be with a completely different phone number as Sky threw mine away when they stole the line – deliberately or otherwise.”