A lesson in bad writing – and Boris Johnson’s folly

Here’s the heading to the kind of White Paper that deserves to be carefully torn into squares and stuck in an outside toilet:

“Leveraging Rapid Process Application Development
Deployment, Adoption and Use for Business Value”

This was followed by the opening of yet another jargon bore-a-thon.

This white paper outlines how process improvement addresses many common and fundamental business issues that negatively impact operations at all levels of an organization, and impede its ability to sell to, service and support customers.

The paper also examines the increasing imperative to accelerate process improvement initiatives,and how the XXXXX Business Process Management (BPM) Suite drives rapid success.

The pompous fool who wrote that should be strung up by the testicles (or mammaries – no sexism about this) till they learn English or leave the country.

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Meanwhile I was appalled to see posters – provided free, I believe – all over the underground featuring Wonga, who are like online pawnbrokers.

You can borrow short-term cash through them via the iPhone at massive interest rates of – I think – around 2,800%.

Boris Johnson, the exhibitionist Mayor of London, agreed to this in exchange for Wonga paying for free transport on New Year’s Eve.

It is a deal made with the devil and he should be ashamed of himself.

You can get up to £1,000 from Wonga if you need bridging over before your next payday.

These are mafioso interest rates.

The Wonga-thieves justify them by saying it’s only short term.

But this sort of thing is habit forming. The £1,000 could turn to a debt of £2,861 within six months – and thanks to our “nobody fails” educational system, half the population can barely add up, let alone work something like that out.

As one Daily Mail reader pointed out, “We’ve had this type of loan in Sweden for a few years and it really spiralled out of control. No proper credit checks and young people thinking of it as easy money. It wrecked a lot of young people’s credit scores.”

So many poor people were enslaved by this in earlier years that when I was young interest rates of over 50% were illegal. They should be again, and it is one useful thing Cameron and his crew should act on.

About the Author

In 2003, the Chartered Institute of Marketing named Drayton one of 50 living individuals who have shaped today’s marketing.

He has worked in 55 countries with many of the world’s greatest brands. These include American Express, Audi, Bentley, British Airways, Cisco, Columbia Business School, Deutsche Post, Ford, IBM, McKinsey, Mercedes, Microsoft, Nestle, Philips, Procter & Gamble, Toyota, Unilever, Visa and Volkswagen.

Drayton has helped sell everything from Airbus planes to Peppa Pig. His book, Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing, out in 17 languages, has been the UK’s best seller on the subject every year since 1982. He has also run his own businesses in the U.K., Portugal and Malaysia.

He was a main board member of the Ogilvy Group, a founding member of the Superbrands Organisation, one of the first eight Honorary Fellows of the Institute of Direct Marketing and one of the first three people named to the Hall of Fame of the Direct Marketing Association of India. He has also been given Lifetime Achievement Awards by the Caples Organisation in New York and Early To Rise in Florida.

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