A little fun for the weekend – plus a free flying pig to dodge


My two oldest friends are retired lawyers.

One, Jeffrey, sent me this the other day.

He is very funny. He used to introduce himself to people as “I’m Jeffrey. I handle all Drayton’s divorces.”

He is a very kind man. Years ago after my first divorce I was terribly short of money and hadn’t paid him.

I was walking down Harley Street one day when I spotted him on the other side of the road. I felt embarrassed. He crossed and said, “Just because you owe me money doesn’t mean you shouldn’t talk to me.”

We became great friends, and used to go shopping in the market in Soho every Saturday and compare notes on our businesses.

“Bankruptcy has been staved off for another week” was his best line.

If you wish to avoid bankruptcy, here are some promises you should treat with the disdain they deserve.

Here is Mr. Jeff Vacek who says “Finally – Here’s The Training You’ve Been Waiting For.”

I would rephrase that slightly as Finally – Here’s The Screwing You Should Avoid” as he goes on:

By now you should already be registered for the exclusive webinar taking place tomorrow night (Thursday): “The ULTIMATE Business Model – How to Build a 6 Figure Information Marketing Business in the Next 90 Days… Even If You’ve NEVER Made A Dime Online”.

I understand you get a free flying pig when you sign on.

I don’t know if Jim Edwards gives away flying pigs, but he says

Starting an online business with no list is NOT rocket science. It’s actually very simple – you just have to DO it!

In fact, starting up an online business when you have no list comes down to 4 simple steps – and you don’t even have to do all 4 of them very well to build a successful online business!

The trouble is that simple does not equal easy. It often equals bloody hard.

Another man says anyone can become an expert in anything in a few days. All I can say is that it took me five years of constant study and work to become a vaguely competent advertising copywriter

What these people never say is that almost all the things they promise you can do are very difficult.  If they were easy we would all be squillionaires. But of course it is human nature to believe what we want to believe.

But the good news is if you study their techniques whilst ignoring their promises you will learn a lot.

The only one who actually says it is hard work is Ryan Deiss.

By the way, I have a very soft stop for the cartoonist featured at the top – Tony Husband. He once a did a strip about my mother who ran an animal charity, and I still have the original.

About the Author

In 2003, the Chartered Institute of Marketing named Drayton one of 50 living individuals who have shaped today’s marketing.

He has worked in 55 countries with many of the world’s greatest brands. These include American Express, Audi, Bentley, British Airways, Cisco, Columbia Business School, Deutsche Post, Ford, IBM, McKinsey, Mercedes, Microsoft, Nestle, Philips, Procter & Gamble, Toyota, Unilever, Visa and Volkswagen.

Drayton has helped sell everything from Airbus planes to Peppa Pig. His book, Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing, out in 17 languages, has been the UK’s best seller on the subject every year since 1982. He has also run his own businesses in the U.K., Portugal and Malaysia.

He was a main board member of the Ogilvy Group, a founding member of the Superbrands Organisation, one of the first eight Honorary Fellows of the Institute of Direct Marketing and one of the first three people named to the Hall of Fame of the Direct Marketing Association of India. He has also been given Lifetime Achievement Awards by the Caples Organisation in New York and Early To Rise in Florida.

4 Comments

  1. phillip coleman

    Ditto re: Jeff Vacek!

  2. Adam Pope

    Really? Ryan Deiss is your example of honesty? Also Capone wasn’t available?

    Maybe read Ryan’s copy and then try his products. You might get a different perspective.

    1. admin

      I didn’t say he was honest; I said he admitted it is hard work. My partner Al swears by him, actually, but I have no opinion. He’s just a very good huckster.

  3. Peter

    It’s surprising how often the simplest things turn out to be complicated. Then, just as a way of a change, somethings which we thought would be complicated turns out to be dead easy. It is of course life just taking the piss.

    Have you noticed how journalists are all instant experts. Unless you actually know something about what they are talking about then they are revealed for the fools they are. Best use for most of them is throwing rocks at.

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