The Triumph of Drivel: An Antipodean View

Don’t know I missed this hilarious comment on the kind of tripe that’s being purveyed by marketers

My friend Ryan Wallman of Melbourne has come out with another cracker. 

It reminded me of Hemingway’s remark: “The most essential gift for a good writer is a built-in, shock-proof bullshit detector”

The Emperor’s New Clothes Conference 2016

Marketing by the cynical, for the gullible

 

Time

 

  

 Topic
 

7.30 – 8.30

 

  

ENERGY SUPPLEMENTATION EXPERIENCE (FORMERLY ‘BREAKFAST’)
 

8.30 – 9.30

 

  

Making the simple complex: how to baffle people for profit
 

9.30 – 10.30

 

  

Emojism: storytelling in the age of illiteracy
 

10.30 – 11.30

 

  

Completely deluded: taking virtual reality to its logical conclusion

 
 

11.30 – 1.00

 

  

SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTIONAL OPPORTUNITY (LUNCH PROVIDED)
 

1.00 – 2.00

 

  

Beyond brand love: how do you get customers to actually have sex with your product?

 
 

2.00 – 3.00

 

  

Advertising is dead: why hypercontextual data-driven programmatic gamification is the future
 

3.00 – 4.00

 

  

Rectal insertables: the next generation of wearable technology

 
 

4.00 – 5.00

 

  

Buzzword innovation: what’s next in the bollocksphere?

About the Author

In 2003, the Chartered Institute of Marketing named Drayton one of 50 living individuals who have shaped today’s marketing.

He has worked in 55 countries with many of the world’s greatest brands. These include American Express, Audi, Bentley, British Airways, Cisco, Columbia Business School, Deutsche Post, Ford, IBM, McKinsey, Mercedes, Microsoft, Nestle, Philips, Procter & Gamble, Toyota, Unilever, Visa and Volkswagen.

Drayton has helped sell everything from Airbus planes to Peppa Pig. His book, Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing, out in 17 languages, has been the UK’s best seller on the subject every year since 1982. He has also run his own businesses in the U.K., Portugal and Malaysia.

He was a main board member of the Ogilvy Group, a founding member of the Superbrands Organisation, one of the first eight Honorary Fellows of the Institute of Direct Marketing and one of the first three people named to the Hall of Fame of the Direct Marketing Association of India. He has also been given Lifetime Achievement Awards by the Caples Organisation in New York and Early To Rise in Florida.

1 Comments

  1. Allie

    Fabulous. I love this.

    Reply

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