And the award for the most witless, moronic, embarrassing, up-its-own-arse e-mail goes to …., well, try a firm that’s gone broke

It would seem that there is a new marketing magic abroad.

It is called Depersonalisation.

There is an example at the top.

Let me explain.

Quite rightly nobody but me, my close relatives, friends and a few kindly folk in Help the Aged gives a hoot that in April I got another Lifetime Achievement Award – this time at the Caples in New York.

But anyone who marvels at the manifold stupidities of large corporations will enjoy the email that the Xerox company just sent me about this.

They never bothered to de-duplicate those who had won. But to experience the full richness of this appalling message you have to experience it.

Phoney, agency drivel to the last degree, right down to the politically correct black guy – yet they have a good offering. No wonder they just went broke.

Come to think of it, this email may be up for an award, because (incredibly) the Caples Awards – despite being named after the man who developed the art of testing to see what works are about “creativity” not results.

You have to click through to see the most ghastly, phoney part.

About the Author

In 2003, the Chartered Institute of Marketing named Drayton one of 50 living individuals who have shaped today’s marketing.

He has worked in 55 countries with many of the world’s greatest brands. These include American Express, Audi, Bentley, British Airways, Cisco, Columbia Business School, Deutsche Post, Ford, IBM, McKinsey, Mercedes, Microsoft, Nestle, Philips, Procter & Gamble, Toyota, Unilever, Visa and Volkswagen.

Drayton has helped sell everything from Airbus planes to Peppa Pig. His book, Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing, out in 17 languages, has been the UK’s best seller on the subject every year since 1982. He has also run his own businesses in the U.K., Portugal and Malaysia.

He was a main board member of the Ogilvy Group, a founding member of the Superbrands Organisation, one of the first eight Honorary Fellows of the Institute of Direct Marketing and one of the first three people named to the Hall of Fame of the Direct Marketing Association of India. He has also been given Lifetime Achievement Awards by the Caples Organisation in New York and Early To Rise in Florida.

7 Comments

  1. Ryan Healy

    Drayton! Winning Caples 35 may be closer than you think!!!

    Reply
  2. Corinne

    That was beyond description. I didn't bother to watch the video the whole way through.

    I'm involved with an organization that I love so much I'm a monthly sustainer. And when I get an e-mail asking me to become a monthly sustainer, I send it back to the Executive Director asking why they can't parse their database correctly. If I didn't love this group so much I would have unsubbed long ago.

    Reply
  3. Drayton

    I might have a better chance if I edited my copy and didn't write “experience” twice in one paragraph

    Reply
  4. Drayton

    I am increasingly inclined to think that the larger the organisation the lesser the clue about anything. Charities, in my opinion, are among the very worst offenders.

    Reply
  5. Ingrid Wren

    That is just appalling… and so totally insulting I sat here shaking my head in disbelief. 

    Surely one of the strengths of the new media is to totally personalise the message… but, oh, I think you need dedicated database people for that, and crm staff who are fastidious about getting to know their customers.

    Reply
  6. Don

    Xerox gone broke? When did that happen?

    Reply
  7. Drayton

    I am a bloody fool; I meant Kodak.

    Reply

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