My son-in-law Mike despite pretending to run a hotel outside Manchester only has one real interest in life: making dreadful jokes.
He has not let me down: I got a message yesterday morning congratulating me on my Sunni disposition.
Nice one, Mike; though my favourite current religious jest, is about the difference between God and the well known tax dodger Bono. The punch-line is “God doesn’t walk down O’Connell Street wearing dark glasses and thinking he’s Bono”.
Meanwhile, Peter Hobday has suggested that poor English stands in the way of making good jokes. I don’t agree. Two of the best joke tellers I know are from Bombay and Vienna. Come to think of it, another who makes me laugh regularly is from Ljubljana; and last month in Warsaw a Polish presenter managed to make me laugh even though I didn’t understand a word he said.
Anyhow, by coincidence, The Spectator ran a piece last week by two Muslims attacking the suggestion by the Lord Chief Justice, Lord Phillips of Little Witless in the Myre, that the institutionalisation of unspecified aspects of sharia law is ‘unavoidable’.
Which bits he means, I don’t know. Stoning women (but not men) accused of adultery to death on the say so of men? Now that stabbing seems so popular here, maybe that would go down well as a spectator sport in some quarters.
Anyhow, as I am in the toils of an insane divorce which so far has cost an alarming amount of money – and will certainly mean my soon-to-be-ex-wife gets about £300,000 less than she would have if she hadn’t wasted so much time I deeply appreciate what a mess the law is in.
Four different judges could even agree on how I had to swear a particular document, and the court even forgot to issue my decree nisi. But I didn’t realize the top law man is a such a complete twat. Maybe he reflects the ineptitude of the entire system. Mind you, when you have a government that comes up with new, generally unworkable laws every twenty minutes, then withdraws them it’s probably hard to say sane.
What is interesting about the Spectator article is that survey evidence shows that Muslims themselves dislike the idea of sharia being introduced here. It is only dumbos in the British Establishment, so committed to multiculturalism and as usual going to the wrong people (bogus, self appointed Muslim “representatives”) to get bad advice.
The article reveals that when his followers were persecuted in Mecca and fled to Christian Ethiopia Mohammed said they must accept the laws and customs of their new homes, and not try to change them in an Islamic direction.
And apparently Ayatolla Sistani of Iraq, one of the few voices of reason in that sad country is also a leading sharia authority. He says if you have agreed to accept the laws of a country, you must either do so or leave.
I like that approach a lot more than that taken by our government and the European legislators. This seems to be if you flout the laws of our country and even encourage murder, don’t worry, we’ll pay to keep you here as long as you please just in case the people where you came from find you as detestable as we do.
Meanwhile, people who really deserve asylum and help, poor black women with sick children for instance, who have no braying lobby of the liberal brainless to defend them are shipped back to misery and in the case of the children, death.
All this is another obscene example of the way those with the biggest mouths in any community not only have the least sense; they are utterly out of touch with the rest of us. More to the point, they always end up by landing us in the shit.
In this case the extremists have made life difficult for the moderates; and the government has, rather than ameliorate the problem, sown discord between communities and, as usual, managed to make life worse for all of us.
Drayton – I think poor English stands in the way of understanding British humour.
To brighten your current troubles: did you hear what Rod Stewart says about divorce?
‘Next time I won’t get married. I’ll find a woman I don’t get on with and buy her a house’
I got home from work yesterday afotrneon and mowed the lawn and blew leaves before the rain came today. After I mowed my lawn, I went next door to my neighbors house and mowed his lawn and blew the leaves off his property. I slipped a pay it forward card under his door mat when I was finished. He came over and thanked me for what I’d done, and also asked me about pay it forward. I often do things for other people, but yesterday it felt a little different because it gave me the opportunity to tell him about paying it forward; also in hopes that it would have a chain reaction and many lives would be effected by such a positive and simple notion of paying it forward .
Sharia is fine, if two consensual adults want to submit themselves to an arbiter, it is none of my business. However, if an atheist is caught messing around with an unmarried Muslim woman, I don’t think he should acquiesce to a ritualistic stoning.
I used to work with a black guy who figured it was okay for black guys to date white women, but it wasn’t okay for black women to date white guys.
As far as he was concerned, it’s different for men and women.
And that’s just one example.
So, everyone has their rules and that’s the only one that counts.
You go to any person in any society and they’ll all have their way of doing things.
There’s examples of men killing their women everywhere because they’re dating the wrong men.
There’s also examples of women doing the same.
Chui, I don’t know your background, and I’m not making any assumptions just because of your name.
But, I’ll bet you have some very strong social beliefs you wouldn’t want to divulge in public.
As far as what you said about an athiest being stoned, you need to do your research first because making these claims.
And, why is it always the Muslim woman who is first referred tp?
Muslim men also suffer… but I guess that doesn’t suit the purposes of propaganda.
I wonder, if you have a sister, how you would feel about her marrying a Muslim man.
One thing that never seemed to get any coverage was the fact that Yvonne Ridley, the reporter who was kidnapped by the Taliban in Afghanistan, became Muslim after she came back.
She cited the respectful treatment she received at the hands of the Taliban.
She has her own show on the Islam channel, but the media ignores that.
Of course, they made a big deal of it while she was captive.
Her life no longer fits the profile of the type of image they want to portray about Islam.
I guarantee you there is no other religion or social structure which treats women better than Islam.
But, of course, it’s easier to believe the opposite.
I had an email converstaion with a guy for a while who refused to find out any more about Islam, even though I sent him the links.
He said he didn’t want to find out any more.
Another guy I worked with, absolutely refused to find out any more, just in case he found Islam is right… and he didn’t want to “lose his freedom” because he enjoyed his life too much as it was.
There are over a billion Muslims in the world.
You’d think if we were so stifled, there’d be more people actually rebelling.
As opposed to the numbers cited in the media.
Propaganda.
Google Judaism and you find some surprising videos of orthodox Jews talking bout how it’s really like for them in countries like Iran.
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=gvelb2SJ7fs
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=DeaZuj7ruwM
Just a couple of examples.
I’m not trying to highlight the negatives of the zionists but the positives about Islam as seen by orthodox Jews.
Article 37(a) of the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child.
“No capital punishment shall be imposed for offences committed by persons below eighteen years of age”
Ah the joys of Sharia law.
Reuters 28/06/2008
“The European Union urged Iran not to execute a teenager who was convicted of committing a murder when he was 15. Contending that executing minors violated Iran’s international obligations and commitments, the European Union urged the government not to carry out the death sentence against Selah Taseh, who was born in 1992. It also called on Iran to halt plans to execute at least five other minors currently on death row. Under Iran’s laws in effect since the 1979 Islamic revolution, the crimes of murder, adultery, rape, armed robbery, apostasy and drug trafficking are all punishable by death.”
Whoops! forgot. Of course now blogging is even punishable by death in Iran. Perhaps we should introduce this bit of Sharia law to the UK but only for those of a certain faith.
Whoops again! Homosexuality is also punishable by death.
There’s nowt so queer as Sharia!
UN convention?
Oh, purleease.
The USA and Israel blatantly disregard any so-called human rights they see fit.
THE US was the founding member of the UN and they uphold the laws only when it suits them.
Israel have blatantly disregarded every law made against them for at least the past decade and more, with the supprt of the US.
Like I mentioned earlier, the west always feels they can lay down the law for everything, including the age at which someone becomes and adult.
A lot of what you mention are already reasons for which people can and do get executed for in the US.
Of course, the difference is that in Iran they use barabaric methods which are quick, unlike countries like the US which use humane methods such a electrocution or injection, which, as we all know is, very humane. especially when the victim dies slowly.
And you forget that Iran was a very good US Ally and has nothing to do with Sunni Muslims.
In fact, the shia aren’t even regarded as Muslims and they feel the same way about us as we feel about them.
But, of course, you along with the media and govt. of this society, would rather have everyome believe we’re all the same.
It’s alsofunny how you skip over the women issue to something else once I’ve mentioned Yvonne Ridley.
Why don’t you delve more into that and try to find out Islam’s real view on women.
I’ve even read reports in this country’s media where somone can get shot and killed by the police in the US for something as ‘trivial’ as car-jacking.
Trivial because it is, compared to murder.
Rezbi
Unlike you who justifies every brutal aspect of your religion by citing the wrongs of others a abhor any injustice in this world.
Your problem, like many of your brainwashed ilk, is that you clearly think that it’s OK to be violent, to treat others as second class just as long as you can point to injustice elsewhere. This is the thought process of a deranged mind.
The fact that you think a barbaric method of execution that is quick is somehow OK proves my point. I am against all forms of capital punishment and certainly think that amputation as practiced in some Muslim states is proof that civilised behaviour and standards have passed them by.
I know of no Western country that executes people for writing a blog or for being homosexual. Comparing the west to brutal Islamic states is an insult to the country you live in where you enjoy freedoms that people in Muslim states don’t.
As for Yvonne Ridley I chose to ignore that because it was a sign of your total ignorance. Have you heard of Stockholm Syndrome? Look it up. Even if she was well treated by the Taliban and became a Muslim does that justify kidnapping? You are a strange person indeed.
I assume by your protestations that you class yourself as a moderate Muslim.It’s funny how in this country we now have to differentiate between moderate and extremist when it comes to “The Religion of Peace”.
If indeed you are a so called moderate then all you have done in these exchanges is shown us what a creeping cancer we have our society.
You are indeed ignorant.
All you have to do is look at the current medai to see how ‘civilised’ this society is.
Every day you see reports of killings, knifings, gunnings, etc.
It’s becomeso bad that they have to come up with different ways to encourage people to give up their weapons.
Just the incidents in the media kill any of your nonsense about this country being civilised and non-barbaric.
I absolutely loved your discussion – even if my poor English stood in the way of understanding your – I’m sure – half-brilliant exchange of viewpoints.
“Rezbi” did you know that my browser claims that your site is a hacking site, and that the Google search claims that your site may damage my innoncent computer?
Michael, I assure you my site is not a hacking site.
BTW, you don’t have to put my name in quotes… I don’t hide under a pseudonym.
And I enjoyed the exchanges, too.
Rezbi, I believe you of course, but this is what Google reports:
Safe Browsing
Diagnostic page for geewhizzmarketing.com/
What is the current listing status for geewhizzmarketing.com/?
Site is listed as suspicious – visiting this web site may harm your computer.
Part of this site was listed for suspicious activity 2 time(s) over the past 90 days.
What happened when Google visited this site?
Of the 2 pages we tested on the site over the past 90 days, 2 page(s) resulted in malicious software being downloaded and installed without user consent. The last time Google visited this site was on 07/16/2008, and the last time suspicious content was found on this site was on 07/16/2008.
Malicious software includes 3 trojan(s). Successful infection resulted in an average of 2 new processes on the target machine.
Malicious software is hosted on 1 domain(s), including 61.155.8.0.
Hi Michael,
I’ve seen the report and I think it’s just a software error by google.
None of my site pick it up but, just to be on the safe side, I’ve deleted that specific page.
Thanks for pointing it out, anyway.
Hey Rezbi,
“…I think it’s just a software error by google.”
How do you have the nerve to write that. As soon as I landed onto your page your site installed a virus on my computer.
Fortunately my anti-virus software detected it instantly.
I didn’t know Google considers your site dangerous since I reached it through a link and thank Michael Leander for the information.
Please clean your server of the JS/Dowloader.Agent virus and stop denying there is a problem with your site. I am more inclined to trust Google and my anti-virus than you.
Your posts denote a certain bitterness. The more people with your attitude there are the more the violence and hatred in this world. Open your heart, reach out to others with love.
For my part I will stay clear of you and your site. I prefer to look at the bright side of things and people and to mix with happy loving people.
Anthony
Rezbi, I am going to have to agree with Anthony. This is not cause by Google.
Better check up on it.
We all need a good laugh every once in a while, right.
I find this one hilarious;
http://www.marketingboss.tv/video/242936-comedy-great-answer-for-telemarketing-phone-calls-.html
Hope you do too.
cheers form Sunny Copenhagen,
Michael Leander
My God, someone sent me that years ago. Still very, very funny. I am going to look for something I was sent the other day, one of my all-time favourites.
Hey Rezbi,
“…I think it's just a software error by google.”
How do you have the nerve to write that. As soon as I landed onto your page your site installed a virus on my computer.
Fortunately my anti-virus software detected it instantly.
I didn't know Google considers your site dangerous since I reached it through a link and thank Michael Leander for the information.
Please clean your server of the JS/Dowloader.Agent virus and stop denying there is a problem with your site. I am more inclined to trust Google and my anti-virus than you.
Your posts denote a certain bitterness. The more people with your attitude there are the more the violence and hatred in this world. Open your heart, reach out to others with love.
For my part I will stay clear of you and your site. I prefer to look at the bright side of things and people and to mix with happy loving people.
Anthony