… And why what seems perfectly logical kills initiative, destroys morale and is fatal to long term profits My first job, 58 years ago, was as Assistant Editor of a magazine called “Cotton”. Every week one firm ran an advertisement that read: …
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“There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics” – and you’ll find plenty in your in-box
Why I don’t believe for a split second that this man was telling the truth – and nor should you If you haven’t received a few emails like this. I’ll be amazed. It is headed “Web Listing” – which didn’t …
Read MoreThe gentle art of corporate masturbation with free advice on what not to do in your emails
Why are email open rates down to as low as 3% on average? This sort of guff gives you a clue. I am sitting in a hotel room in Vancouver – an excellent city – going through my emails when …
Read More“Is this the worst-ever salesletter?” asks Denny Hatch
Plus not one, but two apologies for my slack incompetence – and the return of the Hound of Newton Abbott The splendid Denny Hatch put up the following literary turd yesterday as a candidate for the worst-ever salesletter. It has …
Read More10 really great ways for your kids to have fun with guns
Since the NRA has put out a piece telling kids how to have fun at the shooting range, here’s a list of some they missed out Forgive me for butting in; I know it’s not really my business, but I …
Read More£15 million here, £390 million there. Pretty soon you’re talking serious money. Billions, actually
Another Royal Bank of Scotland classic. And who will pay? Anyone at the bank? What’s your best guess? We all remember fondly the man who got this bank into a mess – the deeply unpleasant sociopath Fred Goodwin, now happily …
Read MoreAmazing! A bank that does what banks used to do
Could it be that instead of running currency scams and pissing you off they’d do better by doing the right thing? Down the road from me a rather dull modern building was briefly occupied by part of the Hargreaves Lansdown …
Read MoreWhich is worse? Fraud or incompetence? Lloyds or Nokia?
If people were banged up in jail for blithering ineptitude, who should get the longer stretch? Here’s a good one for you. “Giving money to a bank is like handing …
Read MoreSound advice about content (and profit) from one of the two people who depress the hell out of me
Week after week, day after day Bob Bly gives sound advice. Here is what he says about what you get for what you pay Two people make me feel useless. One – Denny Hatch – is older than me, and …
Read MoreWould I like to work for Lloyds Bank? And whatever happened to doing your homework?
Even amongst the waves of meaningless pap that pour into my inbox, this asinine email from a job-slob stood out for sheer sloth and incompetence I guess you, like me, get the usual crop of inane waffle in your inbox. …
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