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Drayton Bird Associates

Results – nothing less

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Category: Uncategorized

Where to find your missing profits – for the umpteenth bloody time

Almost every business I know makes this crass mistake. That doesn’t mean you have to. But you quite probably do I often wonder where more money is wasted: on advertising that doesn’t sell, or on a failure to follow up …

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Oh, if only I could get paid for coming up with brilliant creative masterpieces like this

When in doubt, how can you go wrong with a re-brand and one genuinely inspiring word? A triumph for Lloyd’s Bank brilliant marketing “team” and their even more brilliant agency During my EADIM event one delegate asked me if I …

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Introducing London’s Hotel from Hell: The Imperial, Bloomsbury. No service – just nightmares

Crazed gremlins take over venerable hotel in frenzied bid to sabotage London’s tourist trade If you read this regularly you know that every year I run my EADIM event in London. I find the best speakers I can, and that …

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One shamefaced admission and one funny Bird Story – both instructive

Two big mistakes – one mine, and I got my wrist slapped – the other applies to most of the people I come across A day or so ago I got an email from Firestarter Video in Hollywood with a …

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What goes around comes around: different Tories, same mistakes

Uncanny how Cameron’s shower manages to repeat Thatcher’s mistakes – whilst ignoring what she got right Harold Wilson was one of the most mendacious, incompetent prime ministers we have suffered under, but he had a very good turn of phrase. “A week …

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Enough of all this moaning about marketing buffoons. Here’s something helpful for copywriters

Five simple (and often ignored) habits that pretty much guarantee you success as a copywriter Did you heave a sigh of relief when you saw I had stopped promoting my last Eadim Event? Well, I haven’t given up the ghost …

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I’ve barely recovered from one load of rot than – blow me down! – here comes another

How much corporate twaddle can you cram into one – relatively – short space? Step forward Thomas Cook, champion of the Lonely Hearts Club! This follows in timely fashion my remarks yesterday about the joy that idiots derive from “lines”. …

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Every day we lurch more closely to a great big cliff, and when we fall off …

Down at the bottom, waiting for us with jaws wide open is the Great Monster of Linguistic Bollocks His droppings are all around us. I saw one as I queued in the Tesco near College Green.  It was on a …

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Only read if you love jazz – but wikipedia must have cloth ears

What d’you mean, Bud Powell’s talent was in eclipse by the late ’50’s?  You’re pulling my plonker Ever since I first bought the record  50 years or so ago I’ve played and replayed Jazz at Massey Hall with the Quintet …

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Don’t confuse a bad pun with a business strategy – and don’t believe what people tell you in research

Modigliani and chips: I hope this worthy little venture succeeds, but doubt its chances. On the other hand, I’m often wrong. A while ago as I scurried along to catch the train to London a man with a clipboard stopped …

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Some of our clients and work:
Age UK
Akitika
Bentley
Commshare
Debtbuster Loans
Ecospeed
Everest
GLL / Better
Hargreaves Lansdown
Inside Track
IRS
Ken Duncan
La Source
Leger Holidays
LexisNexis
LV= , Liverpool Victoria
Mika Nissinen
Pru Health
RIAS
Royal Mint
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