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Drayton Bird Associates

Results – nothing less

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Category: Uncategorized

At last! One of my favourite jokes brought to life by a rip-off specialist — or maybe he’s a philanthropist. What do YOU think?

By the time you read this I’ll be winging my way across the Atlantic to sighs of relief here in the U.K. and moans of apprehension in the New York area. A few moans from me, too, because when I …

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The Harlot’s Progress – or The False Promise and Premiss of Procurement

In my parent’s pub hung prints of Hogarth’s great series, The Rake’s Progress and The Harlot’s Progress. Their scenes of depravity, designed as awful warnings excited me no end, though I didn’t know then that some of the figures shown …

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Weasels in Auntie Val’s marmalade? Digging for Defeat – and a Pre-Hangover Offer

A weasel, as all good copywriters know, is a word or expression that gives you a misleading impression of something, usually good, without actually lying. Common ones are “virtually” and “up to”. Anyhow. yesterday the one I love brought me …

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Fashionable drivel with helpful advice from 400 years ago – plus your advice, please

I’ll tell about the picture in a minute as it may interest you. But first, I am often amused by the way, at regular intervals, people tell you everything has changed, customers are getting smarter etc., etc. Only this morning …

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What kind of customers do you have? New audio series, Virgin’s banking plans, Spain and Northwestern – and an old video

If you want to persuade people, you’d better understand them. So here’s a tip: read the correspondence. Many years ago I wrote copy for a pain reliever called Cephos. The fact that people used put it in warm water to …

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Another up his own arse show-biz loon gets carried away – this time in Sydney. And some thoughts about the BBC’s betrayal of trust

Over here we have a man called Moyle (or Moyles – can’t remember which) who gets paid far too much for blathering away in the morning on BBC radio. His chief characteristics appear to be homophobia, anti-semitism, an ability to …

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If they can’t write English, how good d’you suppose they are on investment advice? Plus a bizarre sense of priorities that mystifies me

Eileen McCarthy of UK Auctioneers in Chester got a message from the Financial Times who wanted her to advertise. It read, “As a number of global dynamics play out, investors are still airing on the side of caution and sticking …

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A little self-promotion – and what the Bliar and McToad started, Cameron and Osborne look set to finish

I’ll get to the bit all about Me, glorious Me in a minute, but the chief reason why I have to bray so loudly is because of what successive governments have done to me and lot of old codgers like …

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Is a slum really the answer? And how to become a famous author, speaker etc., in two shakes of a lamb’s tail

I took the picture outside Bristol Cathedral, which I walk past pretty much every every day. They show the camp set up by the people who are protesting against the excesses of capitalism – something I too feel pretty strongly …

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This morning’s haul: an illiterate “holistic” miracle worker, another bloody legend and another sure-fire formula. Will it ever end? And does it work?

Someone clever once observed that if the tray tables on your aircraft aren’t clean you start to wonder how well they look after the engines. In much the same way, I wonder about people promising miracles who can’t write decent …

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