Two days ago I got a message from someone who described themselves as an auto-responder copywriter. I raised my eyebrows so far they almost reached where my hairline would be if I had any hair. This is specialisation gone mad. …
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Welcome to the land of Moronia: suggested new immigration policy
Brilliant! Some guy lists all the rip-off seminars running in the UK for people “who love attending seminars”. Look, I run seminars, but if you like spending all your time at them, then one thing you be retty sure of: …
Read MoreThings I will leave with relief when I die
Years ago an art director at O & M in Toronto, enraged beyond endurance by an asinine client who kept making pettifogging changes to his layout, asked coldly, “Where were you when I had the idea?” In days of yore …
Read MoreHere’s a splendid marketing lesson – especially for anyone young who wants a job
Joel Helfer is one of many people I correspond with, and he sent me a story that’s a pretty good marketing lesson for anyone selling anything. Joel’s eldest son Zach is a graduate Architecture Student at the University of Illinois. …
Read MoreWeddings, funerals, coronations – my late father’s caustic views. Plus a question for you
Well, here comes another royal wedding, with the usual cartloads of nauseating pap from the arse end of the media. As usual, Murdoch’s people are doing their best to burrow as far as possible into the slime. Yesterday’s headline in …
Read MoreOh dear. Rumblings in the internet jungle. The cash-flood is drying up – and here’s why
Before the first great British share crash – the South Sea Bubble in 1720 – investors were falling for the most outrageous scams. The best known, perhaps, was “a company for carrying out an undertaking of great advantage, but nobody …
Read MoreEnter the dragon who escaped – with a bit of fun for you,
Do you watch Dragon’s Den? Here’s a reminder. I do occasionally, but am not that keen. It’s not as absurd as “Lord” Sugar’s proving ground for illiterates – which I always see as a humiliating demonstration of the failure of …
Read MoreOnce again, Tom Fishburne hits the bull’s-eye
Here’s yet another rib-tickling insight from Tom into the vast yawning chasm between the catatonic moon-gazing in marketing departments and real life. Tom has this extraordinary ability, week after week, to make cartoons that pin down the lunacy of what …
Read MoreThe Brand Doctor did the trick – with the help of an orange monkey and Pavlov’s dogs
If you want to know how not to manage events, I’m your man. But even by my own demented standards I thought I’d blown it with the branding seminar we just finished. So just in case you ever want to …
Read MoreThe Brand Doctor did the trick – with the help of an orange monkey and Pavlov’s dogs
If you want to know how not to manage events, I’m your man. But even by my own demented standards I thought I’d blown it with the branding seminar we just finished. So just in case you ever want to …
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