An Aussie truck driver walks into an outback cafe with a full-grown emu behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The trucker says, ‘A Hamburger, Fries and a Coke,’ and turns to the emu, ‘What’s yours?’ ‘Sounds great, …
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Oh dear! Tom McPhail gives me a spanking – and rightly, too, but there’s a lesson for you
If you follow finance in this country you’ll almost certainly run across the name Tom McPhail. He is the leading spokesman for Hargreaves Lansdown, a firm I dash off the odd paragraph for, and is constantly being quoted in the …
Read MoreA rich seam of intellectual sewage: the vagaries of corporate advertising
For years I wrote six pieces a month for various marketing publications. Come to think of it, I now do more, but they’re on line. Someone once asked how I managed it, and I replied: “Easy. I only have to …
Read MoreGood stuff from Harvey Mackay if you want to succeed – and a reader scolds me
I often quote Harvey Mackay’s remark that something you know about your customer may be more important than anything you know about your product. He just sent out something excellent headed “The most valuable card in your wallet” which opened …
Read MoreThe absurd inflation of the meaningless: what are you selling – bricks or hot air?
Today I am off to the Ogilvy offices in Manhattan to meet the man who won a contest to find the world’s greatest salesperson. His task was to sell a brick, and I hope to find out how he did …
Read MoreThere were these two guys in a bar … plus a little music for you
If you’re interested in little details of marketing archeology, you may find this interesting. It’s a three generations and a barmaid picture. I have mentioned the setting before – a bar in Chicago’s South Side. The distinguished gentlemen next to …
Read MoreAre you one in 10,000? I was not a good enough copywriter for Money Week. Maybe you are
I don’t know about you, but I find it hard to remember my successes – whilst my failures haunt me for ages. One such occurred about 3 years ago when I was trying to beat Money Week’s control. I just …
Read MoreAnd so it came to pass: why Aviva is in the toilet – a saga of marketing ignorance and hubris
I often wonder what goes on in the heads of the people who run big financial institutions besides rapacious calculations. At the time I commented on the stupidity of taking three famous and respected old brands, sticking them together in …
Read MoreA lunatic invitation – plus an interview you might enjoy
I don’t wish to mock the afflicted, and I am sure it was well-meant, but I was just invited to join a group – I’m quoting here – “where you disconnect from all stress, strain and struggle and connect to …
Read More“I’m putting you on hold … … I’m putting you on hold again… you’re through to the wrong department…’
Being old, I read The Oldie – as I have said before here, and one of its best features is the cartoons – this being an example. But enough levity. Did you know I’m doing a free webinar next Friday …
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