I finished six pieces of copy yesterday and I’m fed up with sectarian squabbles, so time for a laugh.My friend Andy Owen just sent me a joke about these two ladies, which I have seen before, but it still made me laugh.
It also reminded me of a most amusing man I once worked for in the swimming pool business, who always said on the matter of sex. “it’s cheaper to rent”.
Anyhow, the maths on the Paul McCartney-Heather Mills divorce are as follows:
After 5 years of marriage, he paid her $49 million. Assuming he got sex every night during their 5 year relationship (which would NOT have happened) it ended up costing him $26,849 per time.
On the other hand, Elliot Spitzer’s call girl, Kristen, an absolute stunner with a body like no other as you can see at the top, charges $4,000 an hour. For anything!
Had Paul McCartney ’employed’ Kristen for 5 years, he would’ve paid $7.3 million for an hour of sex every night for 5 years (a saving of $41.7 million).
Value-added benefits are: a 22 year old hot babe, no begging, no coaxing, never a headache, plays all requests, ability to put BOTH legs around you (!!!), no bitching and complaining or ‘to do’ lists. Best of all, she leaves when you’re done, and comes back when you ask her. All at 1/7th the cost, with no legal fees.
Sometimes renting really does make more sense…
By the way, the man who advised me to that effect was (and still is, in his ’80’s) a charming, very funny New Yorker who got away with costing the Mafia a lot of money. I learned a lot from him.
Drayton
Good point if all that marriage is about is sex and money and if the choice was the one you presented then no contest.
However for someone like me with a list of faults ranging from over optimism that borders on suicidal to when given two choices of career path always choosing the wrong one, my wife represents a great deal more than 50% our relationship.
Without her council and ability to correct my dodgy navigation through life I’d be in a sorry state. My first marriage cost me my house and I’ve rented (a house that is) ever since but marrying for the second time was the best decision I ever made.
As my house was 100% of what I would laughingly call my wealth my divorce cost me a helluva lot more than it cost Paul McCartney. Still no regrets.
Drayton – tell us about the New Yorker who got away with stiffing the Mafia ..
You forgot to mention the added bonus of the 22 year old call girl:
HPV and other shared delicacies you get to pass onto your darling wife.
Cervical cancer and chlamydia? She can handle that!
Public disgrace? Daddy’s little girls can chin up to that real fine.
The only winner in the Spitzer debacle was Wall Street.
They hated him! (notice I use past tense because Spitzer is history)
🙂
Well, Suz, as Shakespeare put it, “I can but speak of that which I do know” and apart from one drunken evening in Paris 29 years ago I have always been too damn mean to pay for it.
However, reverting to my confessions a week or so ago, on the only two occasions when I caught anything, the first time it was from a 17-year old receptionist and the second time from a barmaid in a pub off Bond Street.
When I was younger, though, I did know a few business girls and they were very careful about their stock in trade. The rising figures of STD in this country are unquestionably related to drunken teenagers, not the kind you pay a few grand a night for.
I have a hilarious picture of Spitzer which I must find and post for you.
hi Drayton
Hopefully he is wearing MORE than just socks in that picture–my tummy is already queasy today. 🙂