Why is this man still being paid? And other scandals

The man with the visionary expression and the weak chin is “Rick” Wagoner, in charge of running General Motors into the ground for the last nine years. The photographer had a tough job making him look anything but a wanker**.

You might call Rick the car industry’s answer to Gordon Brown.

The U.S. taxpayer is about to cough up another avalanche of dosh to keep them all tottering along. Over 20 years ago the late Everett Dirksen observed of another act of government largesse, “A billion here, a billion there. Pretty soon it adds up to real money.”

You may wonder how somebody so manifestly useless got the job in the first place. It shows how being able to climb to the top of large corporations has nothing to do with knowing how to do the job and everything to do with low cunning. The last boss of GM – Roger Smith – was just as bad.

It’s like politics, really. The Bliar was useless, but a brilliant bullshitter; the Toad is useless even at bullshitting.

Daniel Hannan did a wonderful demolition job of Brown – so good I see my friend Clayton Makepeace has put it on his site, but then Harold Wilson repeatedly tore the conservatives to bits forty odd years ago – then proved a woefully bad Prime Minister.

** On the subject of wankers, half the country is giggling about the Home Secretary, “Jacqui” Smith’s latest little problem.

Just to put it in context, she’s responsible for things like crime and has been busy lately trying to explain away why she got found out fiddling her housing expenses. But now it turns out that her husband who she pays (with our money) as a parliamentary aide has been spending his time masturbating furiously over porn videos bought on her expenses (with our money).

To add to her misfortunes the Great Bloat has defended her for doing “a great job”. How the hell would he recognise a great job? And where exactly has she been doing it? In the bedroom? Certainly not as home secretary, where she’s spent most of her time with her foot rammed firmly halfway down her throat.

About the Author

In 2003, the Chartered Institute of Marketing named Drayton one of 50 living individuals who have shaped today’s marketing.

He has worked in 55 countries with many of the world’s greatest brands. These include American Express, Audi, Bentley, British Airways, Cisco, Columbia Business School, Deutsche Post, Ford, IBM, McKinsey, Mercedes, Microsoft, Nestle, Philips, Procter & Gamble, Toyota, Unilever, Visa and Volkswagen.

Drayton has helped sell everything from Airbus planes to Peppa Pig. His book, Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing, out in 17 languages, has been the UK’s best seller on the subject every year since 1982. He has also run his own businesses in the U.K., Portugal and Malaysia.

He was a main board member of the Ogilvy Group, a founding member of the Superbrands Organisation, one of the first eight Honorary Fellows of the Institute of Direct Marketing and one of the first three people named to the Hall of Fame of the Direct Marketing Association of India. He has also been given Lifetime Achievement Awards by the Caples Organisation in New York and Early To Rise in Florida.

13 Comments

  1. I imagine there’s quite a few arses twitching today. I hope the press keep on digging … Apart from being totally shameful, Jacqui Smith’s experience has given me the best laugh for a long time. What a way to get the sack – and if she doesn’t then there’s no justice.

  2. unipede

    I see that Jacqui Smith also claimed for 2 washing machines for some reason Was this to wash all her dirty washing in private?

  3. SimonM

    I feel sorry for Jacqui’s husband and don’t blame him for need some assistance…..

  4. Seen today – a notice in the rear window of a car near to Westminster.

    Situation vacant: WANKER
    Salary: £60,000 pa plus accomodation allowance plus free video access
    Apply: Ms J Smith, Westminster.

  5. If she’s “Jacqui” Smith, does that mean her husband is “Jackoff” Smith?

  6. Anonymous

    Just flew in to Blighty this morning and caught up with your blog.

    Your mention of the pitfalls that wankers are prone prompts a fully paid up member of Onanists International ro send you this:

    If the global crisis continues at the present rate, by the end of this year only two banks will be left operational:

    The Blood Bank and the Sperm Bank.

    And before you know it, these two will merge,and the whole place will be full of bloody wankers.

    Ho Ho.

    GTH

  7. Anonymous

    Why don’t you do your homework before you blast out your ignorant rantings to your list.

    Drayton, You’re making an absolute fool out of yourself with your blathers and narrow insights.

    Wagoner has been running this company for 30 years and only recently has there been a problem.

    Got back to socialist country before someone kicks your arse,
    you communist scoundrel.

  8. The great writer and philosopher Goethe observed that “With idiots even God is helpless.”

    What is one to say of anonymous idiots who imagine I am a communist, and who either cannot read or have a worrying problem distinguishing between easily discovered fact and ludicrous fiction?

    So, as a helpful guide to the facts, though there’s none so blind as those who cannot see:

    1. My last serious political involvement was some years ago when I spoke at the Conservative Party conference in Blackpool. (Note to the politically illiterate: the Conservatives are not the followers of Karl Marx).

    2. In 1970, GM had nearly 60% of the U.S. automobile market. Today GM’s market share is little more than 20%. (Note to those who cannot tell the time: a 39 year old problem is not “recent”.)

    3. Mr. Rick Wagoner cannot claim the credit for this over the last 30 years, as – according to General Motors, who must at least have this, if nothing else, right -he became GM chairman and chief executive on May 1, 2003 after having been president and chief executive since June 2000. (Note to those who cannot count: June 2000 – April 2009 is just under nine years).

    Is that clear, Anonymous? Perhaps remedial classes might help. And by the the way, I don’t have to “get back” to some socialist country. I have the deep misfortune to live in one.

  9. Gen.Hank the Tank Butt Buster the Third

    Listen up you limey bastard. Don’t blind me with all that pinko commie bullshit about facts. Sure GM had 60% of the god dam market in 1970, but then the Slopes came in with their puny little cars and all those west coast fags with their environment crap started to buy the junk. Ever see an Oldsmobile 88 run over an itsy bitsy Toyota? Step on a coke can and you’ll get the idea.

    Hey, what about British Leyland? Toast. MG Rover? Toilet. Not so god dam smart yourselves. You got yourselves a retard leader who has his head so far up our guy’s ass, people are asking questions.

  10. Yo, Hank Buddy-boy … do I recognise the subtly disguised prose of Squire Gressingham Trumpfart-Heavily, late of Lesser Gloats Manor, Hartley Wintney by any chance?

  11. Gen. Hank the Tank Butt Buster the Third

    Nope. Closer to Richmond and we ain’t talking Virginia.

  12. Anonymous

    This comment section is far more entertaining than the post itself.

    Similar to how anticipation for an event trumps the event, only in reverse.

    J. Smith Adams
    Elance Money Secrets
    http://freelancemoney.wordpress.com/

  13. Hi Drayton – I really like your blogs. They always make me chuckle.

    I hope you don’t mind but I put a link from one of my motor sports blog posts (http://lights2flag.blogspot.com) to yours comparing Michael Schumacher to Jacqui Smith’s husband.

    I am sure you can see the connection!

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