“British MEP accused of fraud and false accounting” – oh, really?

The poor bastard in question is called Wise, and I just read about these charges.

It is grossly unfair, not to say bizarre that anyone in the European parliament should be accused of this offence. I nearly fell out of bed when I read about the poor fellow’s predicament.

To those not blessed with living in the said community I should explain that as a rule it is expected – no, required – that all MEPs vigorously support, endorse, indulge in, nay enthusiastically propagate such activities. They are part of the European parliamentarian’s remit, in the same way that, say, a U.S. congressman is expected to be a thieving bastard.

Mr Wise must think the whole thing is some kind of insane practical joke at his expense.

Every year, without fail, for as far back as I can remember, the degree of fraud and false accounting is such that the auditors, rather than endorse the accounts of the great European boondoggle, state without equivocation that they are a pack of lies.

Anyone working for the European Commission who draws attention to this sort of thing is fired as a matter of course – even if they’ve been employed to keep things clean. They have all but ratified a treaty which is nothing but a fraudulent attempt to foist on citizens something which has been repeatedly rejected in popular vote. Rather like the man who, when his doctor tells him he is about to die, says “I want a second opinion. And if that doesn’t come out right, a third.”

I would have expected Mr. Wise to get some sort of Euro-commendation for setting the kind of example that should be followed by all who wish to carve out a successful career in politics. Maybe even pudding-faced Jacqui “not quite as good as a quick wank” Smith should be sending him e-mails for hints on how to get a few more home-improvements at our expense.

And certainly the Great One-Eyed Toad should be asking him up to Downing Street for free drinks and a big wet kiss. After all, The Bloat has been vigorously engaged in fraudulent accounting since 1997. It was he and Bliar who promised us a referendum on the European con I just mentioned, then withheld it.

Actually, I prefer crooks to idiots. What kind of shit-for-brains loony thinks that, having buried us all in the biggest financial hole in 80 years, they should not just keep pissing away public money on gay, lesbian and transgendered orgy coordinators, but actually spend more in the next year?

You and I, who live in the real world, don’t just make up the figures as we go along. We know that if our income goes down, we just spend less. What is wrong with the pumpkin-headed smirking fuckwit? My partner Ian’s dopey Labrador Moose has more sense.

About the Author

In 2003, the Chartered Institute of Marketing named Drayton one of 50 living individuals who have shaped today’s marketing.

He has worked in 55 countries with many of the world’s greatest brands. These include American Express, Audi, Bentley, British Airways, Cisco, Columbia Business School, Deutsche Post, Ford, IBM, McKinsey, Mercedes, Microsoft, Nestle, Philips, Procter & Gamble, Toyota, Unilever, Visa and Volkswagen.

Drayton has helped sell everything from Airbus planes to Peppa Pig. His book, Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing, out in 17 languages, has been the UK’s best seller on the subject every year since 1982. He has also run his own businesses in the U.K., Portugal and Malaysia.

He was a main board member of the Ogilvy Group, a founding member of the Superbrands Organisation, one of the first eight Honorary Fellows of the Institute of Direct Marketing and one of the first three people named to the Hall of Fame of the Direct Marketing Association of India. He has also been given Lifetime Achievement Awards by the Caples Organisation in New York and Early To Rise in Florida.

1 Comment

  1. Rupert

    Buzzby Berkley and Berlusconi

    Silvio Berlusconi understands that politics is just show business for fat ugly people. Instead of distracting people with visits to third world countries to lecture them on economics or blowing the swine flu bollocks into a drama (5,000 people die each year in the UK from normal flu), he gives the people tits and bums politics! No Margaret Becketts in this line up.

    Here is the mouth watering line up for the Euro elections.

    Camilla Ferranti posed semi-naked for a variety of calendars and magazines and has also appeared in several Italian soap operas. Last year Berlusconi rung the head of the state TV company and “suggested” she be given a role in a top TV series.
    Barbara Matera is perhaps the most qualified with a science degree but is better known for her appearance in Miss Italia and her TV career. “I have always wanted a career in politics but I didn’t feel I was ready but Silvio says I am and I think I will work very well in Strasbourg.”
    Angela Sozio has appeared on Grande Fratello (does that mean fellatio?), Italy’s Big Brother, and was famously snapped sitting on Berlusconi’s knee a couple of years ago at his villa in Sardinia. It has been unkindly alleged that she later sat on his face which accounts for his ever present big grin. The group was dubbed “Berlusconi’s Harem” by the Italian media and in other photographs Angela was seen holding hands with the premier.

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