Would you want to make friends with a bloody wardrobe?

I got a message two days ago saying “Smart Storage Widnes added you as a friend on Facebook…”

This typifies the kind of drivel the social sites have given rise to. What kind of lunatic thinks I want to be friends with a chest of drawers or a packing case, or whatever the hell smart storage is?

When we become friends, what do I say? “Hi, Smart”? “Wassup, Storage, baby”? Then I introduce you to girls with sad faces at parties. “Hey, darling, you look desperate. Fancy getting it on with a wardrobe?”

“From Widnes? What d’you take me for? A dining table?”

“No? Ah well. Young people today have no imagination.”

If you want to flog your fucking boxes, go somewhere else. The same applies to your mad friend’s disinfectant, by the way.

Madness.

About the Author

In 2003, the Chartered Institute of Marketing named Drayton one of 50 living individuals who have shaped today’s marketing.

He has worked in 55 countries with many of the world’s greatest brands. These include American Express, Audi, Bentley, British Airways, Cisco, Columbia Business School, Deutsche Post, Ford, IBM, McKinsey, Mercedes, Microsoft, Nestle, Philips, Procter & Gamble, Toyota, Unilever, Visa and Volkswagen.

Drayton has helped sell everything from Airbus planes to Peppa Pig. His book, Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing, out in 17 languages, has been the UK’s best seller on the subject every year since 1982. He has also run his own businesses in the U.K., Portugal and Malaysia.

He was a main board member of the Ogilvy Group, a founding member of the Superbrands Organisation, one of the first eight Honorary Fellows of the Institute of Direct Marketing and one of the first three people named to the Hall of Fame of the Direct Marketing Association of India. He has also been given Lifetime Achievement Awards by the Caples Organisation in New York and Early To Rise in Florida.

About the Author

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