Isn’t it time your dog had his own wristwatch? And how about Stink-o-vision?

Don’t laugh. I’m fairly serious.


Last week I went with my beloved to a splendid restaurant near us in Bristol that was running a Portuguese evening, and this is one of the useful ideas we picked up.

The wristwatch in question runs seven times faster than an ordinary one, because it works – but you guessed, didn’t you? – on dog years.

Equally indispensable are: an indicator for cars that tells people you’re going straight ahead, tights with three legs – if you ladder one leg, there’s always a spare hanging around – and TV with smells.

How did I come by these ideas for the busy lunatic?

Because we got into conversation with two chaps on our table who both work for the U. K. patent office, and these are some of the ideas they told us about that have been submitted in all seriousness by questing minds.

In fact the indicator idea has been suggested quite a few times.

But none of these fine ideas can compete with a comedian called Adeel Chowdhry.

This philanthropist just “revealed” his rare secret that will “add $459,625 to your bottom line every month with hardly any effort and no investment, as well a key loophole” that he “taps into” into five times a month to flood his site with 1,261,863 visitors on demand.


Pull my other leg. It’s got bells on it.

About the Author

In 2003, the Chartered Institute of Marketing named Drayton one of 50 living individuals who have shaped today’s marketing.

He has worked in 55 countries with many of the world’s greatest brands. These include American Express, Audi, Bentley, British Airways, Cisco, Columbia Business School, Deutsche Post, Ford, IBM, McKinsey, Mercedes, Microsoft, Nestle, Philips, Procter & Gamble, Toyota, Unilever, Visa and Volkswagen.

Drayton has helped sell everything from Airbus planes to Peppa Pig. His book, Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing, out in 17 languages, has been the UK’s best seller on the subject every year since 1982. He has also run his own businesses in the U.K., Portugal and Malaysia.

He was a main board member of the Ogilvy Group, a founding member of the Superbrands Organisation, one of the first eight Honorary Fellows of the Institute of Direct Marketing and one of the first three people named to the Hall of Fame of the Direct Marketing Association of India. He has also been given Lifetime Achievement Awards by the Caples Organisation in New York and Early To Rise in Florida.

1 Comments

  1. S. Newdell

    I’ll pull only when you’re wearing three legged tights. Meantime, we’ll concentrate on selling things useful and decent to help better a society going madder by the week. sn

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