What did you do in the Great War, Daddy?

That question is one of the best examples of the shameless – even shameful – use of emotion I can recall.

It shamed many thousands to their deaths between 1914 and 1918 in one of the most pointless, bloody wars ever.

I doubt if whoever wrote it called themselves a copywriter, but it is a brilliant if macabre example of emotional blackmail.

It came to mind because a new client asked me a few days ago, “What can you do for us?”

I answered, “Practically anything” – remarkably vague, but true

One example is worth a ton of waffle. So here if you interested is a random selection of what we do and who we do it for. If you aren’t interested, don’t read another word. I don’t want to waste your time.

I’ve restricted it to examples of work we are doing now or have in the last three months, as otherwise you be even more confused than I am.

We help people all over the world. They vary enormously. Some are household names – the Pru, Nielsen Research and The Royal Mint, for instance. Others are much smaller . Actually some of our best, most satisfying work has been done for pretty small businesses. Less red tape and bullshit.

We help with marketing online or off. I write a good 90% of the copy and pretty much always rewrite the rest.

We help clients who sell to businesses and ones who sell to ordinary folks (“consumers” as they call them). We help sell stuff that costs hundreds of thousands and stuff that sells for under a fiver. We don’t care if you sell services or products.

We comment and advise on people’s marketing – recent examples include a firm in Hong Kong selling training and one in the U.K. selling office design.

I myself do a lot of in house and public seminars, sometimes with colleagues I respect. I also do video interviews about once a month – and people interview me, too. If you want to see an example of the latter, go to http://leadersin.com/gurus/drayton-bird

In the creative area we don’t just do copy. We do pictures too. For over thirty years my partner on the visual side has been Chris Jones, widely regarded as the best direct marketing art director in this country, and quite possibly the world.

We can help you with just about any kind of marketing for results. Brand-building, media buying, database, understanding customers, Search Engine Optimisation, lead acquisition and conversion online or off, direct mail, e-mail, letters, brochures, ads, commercials, videos, websites, landing pages, Adwords. You name it.

Here’s a quick run-down of recent work (last three months):

• Corporate Pensions, using direct mail, email, ­­­­­­­­­­seminars etc.
• Language Courses sold on the internet
• Research on the internet – consumer and business
• Collectables sold via direct mail and on the internet
• Property sold all over the world, via the internet
• Insurance of several kinds
• Buildings, temporary and permanent
• Religious artefacts (Really. I’m writing about them this very day)

Those who get the best out of us tend to be doing well but would like to do better.

We cannot usually help people down to their last dollar, because there is usually a reason for that.

We cannot help people who are not totally open (in strict confidence) about their business, or people who will not do what we suggest.

We very rarely fail.

What we do not do: attend lots of meetings. I suffer from MSD: Meeting Surplus Disorder