What’s in store in 2012? Odd language leads to pretty useless advice – and my touchingly generous offer expires today

One of the most profitable lines ever written was to sell the Kiplinger Letter. It ran for a good twenty years and read “Will there be more BOOM and more INFLATION ahead?” 
It worked because we all want to know what’s going to happen; but I can save you a little trouble. There is no boom coming your way but a whole lot of inflation, because that’s what happens when you print money, whatever fancy name you call it.
This is prompted by something I saw in an e-mag called “London Loves Business” which read: Market niches set to explode in 2012, according to the UK’s most successful entrepreneurs.
Strange phraseology: niches do not explode, but I wanted to know what various experts thought. The answer is that most of what followed was a series of self-interested plugs by sundry individuals who think their business is going to do just great.
Stelios Hajimathingy thinks his easy businesses will go just great, except he didn’t mention easyJet because he’s having a row with them. A couple of guys in the dating business think people are going to want to leap into bed with each other more. 
And would you believe a property man thinks you could do well in prime property? A man who’s been trying to make hydrogen batteries reckons he’s finally cracked it. There were a couple of investment schemes I would be very careful about. And (surprise, surprise) mobile ads are doing well and will do better.
The whole piece was a big con. Most of the people were not London’s most successful entrepreneurs. And other than Will King, the King of Shaves man and a guy who runs virtual gyms, all the advice was just flat-out self-promotion. 
I like the idea of virtual gyms. I could stop all my push-ups and crunches and just imagine I’m exercising. Actually, that’s not unlike what most people end up doing after they join a gym: they go two or three times then quit. 

Don’t laugh, though: research I read somewhere says that just imagining you’re exercising actually works.
Changing the subject a little, do you ever find yourself astounded at the way you know you should do things – but you don’t? I do, often.
That’s why I spent much of yesterday making audio recordings. I have known for years that people like to listen to stuff in the car or while doing other things like the cleaning (which I do, believe it or not). But I have always put stuff out in video or written form. Stupid.
Anyhow three hours of wit and wisdom is now in the can ready for January. If you’re one of those who has joined EADIM you’ll start getting them. If you’re not (I may have mentioned this before) well, the £600 saving deal ends when the year ends. Just a few hours from now.
After that, the New Year – no boom, but plenty of busts – is coming your way. In the deathless words of Bette Davis, “Fasten your seatbelts. We’re in for a bumpy ride.” .

About the Author

In 2003, the Chartered Institute of Marketing named Drayton one of 50 living individuals who have shaped today’s marketing.

He has worked in 55 countries with many of the world’s greatest brands. These include American Express, Audi, Bentley, British Airways, Cisco, Columbia Business School, Deutsche Post, Ford, IBM, McKinsey, Mercedes, Microsoft, Nestle, Philips, Procter & Gamble, Toyota, Unilever, Visa and Volkswagen.

Drayton has helped sell everything from Airbus planes to Peppa Pig. His book, Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing, out in 17 languages, has been the UK’s best seller on the subject every year since 1982. He has also run his own businesses in the U.K., Portugal and Malaysia.

He was a main board member of the Ogilvy Group, a founding member of the Superbrands Organisation, one of the first eight Honorary Fellows of the Institute of Direct Marketing and one of the first three people named to the Hall of Fame of the Direct Marketing Association of India. He has also been given Lifetime Achievement Awards by the Caples Organisation in New York and Early To Rise in Florida.

1 Comments

  1. Denis Thornton

    Brilliant – thanks for the audio Drayton.  Car journeys create an endless appetite for (good) audio – turns a necessary evil into a good use of time, so really looking forward to those.  Happy New Year, and thanks for all the help in 2011.

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