Why LinkedIn reminds me of rotten sardines.

With an apology and a proposal for only 5 serious marketers

Sorry: I have hardly blogged at all lately as I’m writing my autobiography.

But I have something good for you today.

It’s a joke about buying and selling.

During World War 2 and for years after everything was rationed.

(Yes, I’m so old I remember cowering in a bomb shelter and being terrified of Trump’s inspiration Hitler).

In those days decent food was hard to find, so loads of “spivs” were ripping people off.

Just like the internet today, only face to face.

The story goes that one man sold a crate of tinned sardines to a friend.

His friend sold the crate to another friend, who sold it to another friend, and so on. 

After it had been through a few hands one man opened the crate, took out a tin, opened it, and tasted the sardines.

They were appalling.

Rotten, rancid, foul, disgusting, inedible. 

He complained to the friend who sold it to him.

The friend was shocked:

‘Why the hell did you open them? They’re not for eating.  They’re for buying and selling.”

What have rotten sardines and LinkedIn in common?

Well, I have have 6,932 LinkedIn connections

Almost all have written to me. And almost all said much the same thing.

They are interested in, even impressed by my profile. We have much in common. We should work together, because they are good at (you name it). Would I like to schedule a phone call for 15 minutes?

Well, I hate talking to strangers on the phone. 

And loathe it if they are sales people.

More to the point I cannot recall one of these thousands doing what any half-decent salesman does.

They haven’t bothered to find out a damn thing about me.

So they are wasting my time – and theirs.

And they usually want to sell services my colleagues and I offer already  rather well.

A few comedians want to teach me how to write copy or do better presentations. A little late for that.

So much for the wonders of digital marketing, which leads people so far astray that basic selling skills are ignored.

So I haven’t really tried all that hard with LinkedIn.

But one of my long-time associates has.

It’s taken him God knows how long, but he is succeeding with clients all over the place. (He has managed  salesforces in places like Jakarta, so where clients are doesn’t matter).

But there is a problem.  Not so much the cost; but it takes time – at least three months – to see results, because you  are building a relationship. And as long as six months to see a decent ROI. 

I won’t bore you with exactly how we do this. It needs to be explained fully – and my partner Ian will do that if you’re interested.

But you’re probably as cynical as me about the claims made in what I call Anti-Social media.

So let me quote Joanne Chan who heads Business Development at a global firm called IPPWORLD in Singapore.

“I get approached all the time from LinkedIn lead generation experts. But I don’t want lukewarm leads.”

“This is the opposite. It’s a long-game of gently getting to know people.”

“At first I was sceptical. It felt a little strange having somebody else produce content for you on LinkedIn.”

“But it didn’t last. The team get to really understand you. At times, it feels as though they are mind readers.”

“They understand you, your views, your outlook and more importantly how to break-through the LinkedIn algorithm and reach the customers you seek.”

“We seek clients globally. My challenge was getting my target audience to tune in.”

“They would rarely view my posts, nor like or comment on them. Boy has that changed!”

“Now I get inbound enquiries. I’ve had a range. From leading hotel chains in London, through to an opportunity to unlock the entire market in a European country – I’m heading over there in March.”

It’s like online relationship building on auto-pilot.

“I get comments from precisely the people I want to meet, and that’s how the conversations start.”

You will realise that such an approach means you must be serious; willing to invest at least $7,500 before you start to see sales results, though you will see that it’s working before that.

So we can take on a maximum of 5 clients. No more.

If you want to make LinkedIn work for you and you are serious drop me a line. But do it now!

It’s a perfectly logical – even ideal – platform to sell to other businesses. But people are going about the wrong way.

We know the right one. We call it Social Proof.

But only for 5 firms at most right now.

And there is a major proviso.

Only three of the first five clients who took this on are still with us.

The other two wanted to do it their way, insisting on corporate waffle.

That doesn’t fit in with what we believe in so they had to go.

Once you understand what we offer and agree it makes sense, it’s our way or the highway.

I hope you don’t find this a bit snooty or even arrogant but my partner and I haven’t spent years working out what works just to ignore it. Doing it right matters more to us than quick money.

If you have any questions, get in touch.

Make it the very next thing you do.

And my partner Ian will get back to you.

About the Author

In 2003, the Chartered Institute of Marketing named Drayton one of 50 living individuals who have shaped today’s marketing.

He has worked in 55 countries with many of the world’s greatest brands. These include American Express, Audi, Bentley, British Airways, Cisco, Columbia Business School, Deutsche Post, Ford, IBM, McKinsey, Mercedes, Microsoft, Nestle, Philips, Procter & Gamble, Toyota, Unilever, Visa and Volkswagen.

Drayton has helped sell everything from Airbus planes to Peppa Pig. His book, Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing, out in 17 languages, has been the UK’s best seller on the subject every year since 1982. He has also run his own businesses in the U.K., Portugal and Malaysia.

He was a main board member of the Ogilvy Group, a founding member of the Superbrands Organisation, one of the first eight Honorary Fellows of the Institute of Direct Marketing and one of the first three people named to the Hall of Fame of the Direct Marketing Association of India. He has also been given Lifetime Achievement Awards by the Caples Organisation in New York and Early To Rise in Florida.

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