A little midweek giggle for all you sophisticates*
His Lordship was in the study at Downton Abbey when the butler approached and coughed discreetly.
“May I ask you a question my Lord?”
“Go ahead Carson” said his Lordship.
“I am doing the crossword in The Times and I have found a word I am not too clear on.”
“What word is that?” said his Lordship.
“‘Aplomb’, my Lord.”
“Now that’s a difficult one to explain. I would say it is self assurance or complete composure.”
“Thank you my Lord, but I’m still a little confused.”
“Let me give you an example to make it clearer. Do you remember a few months ago the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge arrived to spend a weekend with us?”
“I remember the occasion very well, my Lord. It gave the staff and myself much pleasure to look after them.”
“Also”, continued the Earl of Grantham, “do you remember Will plucked a rose for Kate in the rose garden?”
“I was present on that occasion, my Lord, ministering to their needs.”
“While plucking the rose a thorn embedded itself in his thumb very deeply.”
Carson replied, “I witnessed the incident my Lord and saw the Duchess herself remove the thorn and bandage his thumb with her own dainty handkerchief.”
“That evening the prick on his thumb was so sore, Kate had to cut up his venison from our own estate, even though it was extremely tender.”
“Yes my Lord, I did see everything that transpired that evening.”
“The next morning while you were pouring coffee for Her Ladyship, Kate enquired of Will with a loud voice, ‘Darling does your prick still throb?’
And you, Carson, did not spill one drop of coffee!
Now that is aplomb”.
* Actually I think Downton Abbey is about as sophisticated as a pint of shrimps. Ifyou want to know how the aristocracy really lived, read “Wait for me” by the Duchess of Devonshire – beautifully written at the age of 90, hilarious and a joy from start to finish.
