This just in from Wandsworth Cemetery. It’s only a shame that the member of the Undead who wrote it can’t spell “seamlessly”. Performance Canvas Planning is the first fully unified Information Synthesis, Performance Management and Planning tool that uses the …
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How did I ever fail to come across Tom Fishburne?
For a long time I wrote a column for Marketing – in fact some people think I still do, although I stopped well over a decade ago. Anyhow, I was replaced by Mark Ritson, a very perceptive commentator, much better …
Read MoreA tale of loose underpants – or how to kill a great brand
I’ll get back to the stuff on the left in a minute, but first I really must apologise for the utter banality of most of my marketing advice, as it seems to consist of a series of blinding glimpses of …
Read MorePresenting the long-awaited inorgural issue of a brilliant new magazine
You’re probably a bit fed up with gnawing your thumbs as your await the consequences of our farcical general election, so here it is. Years ago I sent a memo to all my creative people reminding them of what they …
Read MorePass the junk: a doubly poisoned chalice whoever wins
This little graph from the New York Times neatly explains that what the bankers were doing – passing on worthless junk we ended up paying for – is exactly what Europe’s politicians are doing. They are passing each other’s toxic …
Read MoreGhouls from banks strike again
A lady died this past September, and MBNA bank billed her for October and November for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance that had been …
Read MoreA curse on specialists and their fatuous lingo…
Every day I walk past a rather grand building on the same street as my squalid office which is occupied by Tribal DDB and wonder how long they will carry on doing well. They obviously have some talented people, but …
Read MoreUncle Dray’s Electoral Follies, Part 2. Another free webinar
The 18th century was famous for corruption. So how much has changed? Here is part of what is going on in this Hogarth picture. Images of bribery abound … in the foreground a shower of gold flows from the Treasury …
Read MoreIntroducing new, miracle “Super Nanny” marketing
Sorry. I only put in that ludicrous heading because nowadays everything on the damn web is miraculous and mind-blowing – so I thought I’d join the hustlers. Frankly this is not miraculous OR mind-blowing. It’s actually very simple, but it …
Read MoreYes, it’s true folks. They really ARE a bunch of wankers
You’ve long suspected it. I’ve long suspected it. The custodians of righteousness are a bunch of tossers. According to a report by the Associated Press, “Senior staffers at the Securities and Exchange Commission spent hours surfing pornographic websites on government-issued …
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