Well, should we eff and blind or not?

“What we never expect always happens,” said Disraeli.

Having been known for years as Drayton effing Bird because of my foul language, I am amused to be asked by Ian Denny whether people should use words like f**king or fucking (take your pick; you know what it is with or without the asterisks) in blogs.

I think “sticks and stones may hurt your bones but words can never hurt you” – or at any rate, not words like that. I suspect being told you’re a half-witted insensitive buffoon* will do a better job there.

I also think a blog is above all personal; if you can’t express yourself as you wish there, where can you? Nobody is forced to read. Then again, there is the question of why you are writing a blog. Many – perhaps most – do so for commercial purposes. I do it for fun – that’s it. If I were aiming it to attract a certain type of client, I would moderate the language perhaps.

Come to think of it, since business thrives or fails largely on the basis of how well you get on with those you work with, maybe a blog could be a way of filtering out the unwanted – or encouraging the right kind of associates.

But that word – in fact many words – seem to be seen in quite different ways, depending on the context, the person or the culture. An Irish friend uses “focking” all the time – even in meetings with very straight-laced business people. I try to restrain myself. Maybe I’m getting old and staid.

* On the subject of insults, Dr. Johnson was once asked to coin his idea of the perfect one. He came up with “Sir, your mother, under pretence of keeping a brothel, is a receiver of stolen goods.”

This in turn reminds me of one of my favourite cartoons which is hanging in my house in Somerset – I say “my” house though I am currently embroiled in an absurdly – and needlessly – expensive divorce, after which I will get it back.

Anyhow, I think it’s a Rowlandson, dating back about 200 years, with the title “Politeness”.

A man has burst into a room to discover a couple frolicking in bed.

He says: “Sir, are you aware you are in bed with my wife?.”

The man in the bed replies: “A thousand pardons, Sir. She shall be with you in the course of an instant.”

For me an exchange like that makes life worth while.

About the Author

In 2003, the Chartered Institute of Marketing named Drayton one of 50 living individuals who have shaped today’s marketing.

He has worked in 55 countries with many of the world’s greatest brands. These include American Express, Audi, Bentley, British Airways, Cisco, Columbia Business School, Deutsche Post, Ford, IBM, McKinsey, Mercedes, Microsoft, Nestle, Philips, Procter & Gamble, Toyota, Unilever, Visa and Volkswagen.

Drayton has helped sell everything from Airbus planes to Peppa Pig. His book, Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing, out in 17 languages, has been the UK’s best seller on the subject every year since 1982. He has also run his own businesses in the U.K., Portugal and Malaysia.

He was a main board member of the Ogilvy Group, a founding member of the Superbrands Organisation, one of the first eight Honorary Fellows of the Institute of Direct Marketing and one of the first three people named to the Hall of Fame of the Direct Marketing Association of India. He has also been given Lifetime Achievement Awards by the Caples Organisation in New York and Early To Rise in Florida.

10 Comments

  1. I like the concept of filtration. And because we spend an awfully long time wither with, or working for our clients, it’s important you get on.

    I must admit that when we thought about the whether or not to do some silly videos of the directors being punished for a tad less than perfect performance, we did realise it would alienate some people.

    And it did. So it worked.

    More recently, we have gained arguably the biggest contract from a great bunch of people we instantly got on well with.

    They’d seen the video and preferred us to others.

    I’ve been a bit more restrained on language, but the concept of being yourself is exceptionally important.

    People buy people. So you have a choice. Pretend to be somebody else and have a dreadful working life being untrue to yourself. Or instead, be yourself, and instead choose a career or pursuit where people aren’t put off by who you are.

    If I inspired you to choose politics however, take a look at yourself in the mirror.

  2. Ian – you didn’t waste much time asking.

    I beep some swear words on my blog, but often that is because there is no other way to describe to assh..e. I’m describing. Not unless I want to be sued anyway.

    Drayton – Ian mentioned your profanities because another blogger mentioned that a 7 year old might accidentally stumble upon your blog. Well – not your blog personally – any blog with inappropriate words.

    It’s a tough one. I can’t imagine my blog holding the interest of a 7 year old for 3 seconds, so I don’t know if it’s worth actually censoring what I write.

    Now, as for adults, that’s another matter. And I do deliberately offend the ones I want to get shot of.

    I do that with customers I don’t want to & I’ve seen me use far worse words than the ones on my blog.

  3. Appropriate swearing is always acceptable. Powerful, even. Hardly anyone knows how to swear appropriately, however.

    I’ve never really thought about any swearing on this blog – so if you are doing it, it must be appropriate.

    Different question: how would you feel if a journalist quoted you swearing in an interview for a magazine? (The answer may be academic depending on the attitude of the editor, of course!)

  4. I think if being interviewed by in any serious context by a journalist you should be careful what you say, and ask for a transcript of anything recorded, with a right to see a draft of what is to be published.

    Journalists tend to have vivid imaginations.

    A firm of mine once went broke as a result of a smear in a national sunday paper. I could prove with witnesses that what was written was false – but I hadn’t the money to sit out the long months before a libel action was fought.

    As (I think) Nick Tomalin – a journalist himself – wrote: You cannot think to bribe or twist, thank God, the British journalist/ For seeing what the man will do unbribed, there’s no occasion to.’

  5. I have to admit that I edited a comment on my blog to read w*nker with the asterix although it was previously without.

    That was because of the article Barbara wrote, but also a grey area where machines rather people intervene.

    So how much of a difference does it make to have the bleep?

    As you point out, we all know what it means.

    Being a semi-technical person, I fear the filtration processes of Internet browsers that may not currentrly exist, but some evangelisgt is probably developing as we speak.

    If they should prevent people seeing part of the message in some new crusade against free-talking people, I want to future-proof the content so a prospective audience can at least hear me first and judge later.

    And perhaps join me in a beer-sodden evening debating the pros and cons of the profanity that were prevalent in our business courtship process.

  6. Amanda

    Drayton,
    Another much needed laugh during a tiresome day.
    I wholeheartedly agree with Ian & the rest…somehow, back on my first job interview (with a British editor) I stumbled through an interview that surely turned most people’s hearts cold. Actually, I didn’t stumble, I nailed it. It was a terrible match. I’m full of life; he is not. It absolutely didn’t work for either of us.
    I didn’t know enough to say “no” because I was desperate for that first legitimate job as a slightly older college grad. (The ripe age of 27ish.)
    Anyhow, much agreed & lesson learned… be yourself, but maybe don’t scream “FUCK!” at the top of your lungs during a meeting. You could slur it slightly under your breath instead… it could be more effective in a “Godfather” way.
    As for the internet – fuggidaboutit. It’s the internet. Who cares about propriety. It isn’t scented stationery.

    On a separate note: I’m almost 100 pages into your new marketing book, Drayton. You gave me a headache! Thank you–it’s fantastic! Too much to absorb… many readings are called for.

  7. Catherine is worried about a 7 year old stumbling across profanities in a blog. Well, I don’t know a single 7 year old who doesn’t know or use all the swear words. What do you think a playground sounds like?

    The difficulty is in trying to come to terms with the fact that your children have a completely different language outside their home. But you don’t know what it sounds like, and they will never tell you.

    If you give a warning, as Drayton does, at the front of your work, then who can complain?

  8. Hey Drayton – I put an article about you here:

    http://www.subscriptionsstrategy.co.uk/articles/Why-copywriters-must-convey-the-truth

    Forgot to tell you about it. I’ve actually compared you to Frank Sinatra, which is by far the best and most original flattery you will ever get on this blog. But then, I am a copywriter ..

  9. Thanks for the comparison, Peter. Of course, during my wilder years I was often referred to as old bleary eyes.

  10. A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.
    “Certainly, Sir, that’ll be one cent.”
    “One Cent?” the man replied.
    He glanced at the menu and asked, “How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?”
    “A nickel,” said the barman.
    “A nickel?” exclaimed the man. “Where’s the guy who owns this place?”
    The bartender replied, “Upstairs, with my wife.”
    The man asked, “What’s he doing upstairs with your wife?”
    The bartender replied,
    “The same thing I’m doing to his business down here.”

    I swear and say what I think so nobody can have any doubts about my point of view. However the above demonstrates that it’s not what you say but how you say it. Adultery, fornication and theft are all covered without any ‘F’ words. Quite cute really.

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