Well, we pay the stupid pricks

In the never-never land of the public sector what do they do with their time? How come current defence projects are over budget by £35 billion and arrive five years later than expected? Why don’t they notice little babies are being beaten to death by thugs?

A recent Sunday Times report leads me to suspect they have other things on their minds. Not a few billion here or there; not the suffering caused to babies; but the anguish caused by language.

Instead of doing their jobs – many of which are spurious anyhow – they’re sitting in conference rooms discussing language. To stamp out racism and sexism, they are banning phrases like “whiter than white”, “gentleman’s agreement”, “black mark” and “right-hand man”.

The buffoons at the National Gallery think “gentleman’s agreement” might offend women and the phrase “unwritten agreement” or “an agreement based on trust” is better. “Right-hand man” is another. They prefer “second in command”.

“Gender bias” is another sin. The Learning and Skills Council wants staff to “perfect” their brief rather than “master” it. Newcastle University thinks “master bedroom” is problematic. Are we allowed to have mistresses, I wonder?

There is more. The South West Regional Development Agency waffles: “Terms such as ‘black sheep of the family’, ‘black looks’ and ‘black mark’ have no direct link to skin colour but potentially serve to reinforce a negative view of all things black. Equally, certain terms imply a negative image of ‘black’ by reinforcing the positive aspects of white.”

“For example, in the context of being above suspicion, the phrase ‘whiter than white’ is often used. Purer than pure or cleaner than clean are alternatives which do not infer that anything other than white should be regarded with suspicion.”

Pray tell me how this is going to help the unemployed in Devon and Cornwall. In fact how is any of this going to help these people we pay do anything useful at all?

It seems dozens of quangos and taxpayer-funded organisations have ordered this lunatic purge. If they have time to do this, then their alleged puposes don’t exist and they should be abolished.

The Northern Ireland Human Rights Commission has told staff to replace “black day” with “miserable day”. It suggests that some words imply a “hierarchical valuation of skin colour”. It tells employees to be mindful of the term “ethnic minority” because it can imply “something smaller and less important”.

I wonder if it was a fucking Prod that came up with that? If so the bastard should be knee-capped.

***

As an afterthought, suppose they lived in the real world. The world we live in. The world that pays their wages.

Suppose you had a business that was losing money by the ton.

You ask everyone for suggestions. “We’re in the shit. What should we do?”

Then someone says, “How about we stop having a chairman and have a chair?

How quickly would you kick the stupid twat out? Would be as fast or faster than you’d like to get rid of half the people in Parliament?

About the Author

In 2003, the Chartered Institute of Marketing named Drayton one of 50 living individuals who have shaped today’s marketing.

He has worked in 55 countries with many of the world’s greatest brands. These include American Express, Audi, Bentley, British Airways, Cisco, Columbia Business School, Deutsche Post, Ford, IBM, McKinsey, Mercedes, Microsoft, Nestle, Philips, Procter & Gamble, Toyota, Unilever, Visa and Volkswagen.

Drayton has helped sell everything from Airbus planes to Peppa Pig. His book, Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing, out in 17 languages, has been the UK’s best seller on the subject every year since 1982. He has also run his own businesses in the U.K., Portugal and Malaysia.

He was a main board member of the Ogilvy Group, a founding member of the Superbrands Organisation, one of the first eight Honorary Fellows of the Institute of Direct Marketing and one of the first three people named to the Hall of Fame of the Direct Marketing Association of India. He has also been given Lifetime Achievement Awards by the Caples Organisation in New York and Early To Rise in Florida.

6 Comments

  1. Rupert

    Pound crashes against Zimbabwean Dollar – Mugabe jubilant

    President, tyrant, lunatic and butcher of Rhodesia, Bob Mugabe, was in jubilant mood today as the pound crashed against the Zim (Zimbabwean Dollar) by 15%. His old friend Gay Gordon has been making such a total fuck up of the British economy that in July the Public Sector Borrowing Requirement was £8.016 billion. This apparently means that the two Scots twats in charge of the country, Brown and Darling, are over spending by more than £258 million per DAY. This is more than £10 million per hour 24 hours per day seven days per week.

    Whatever happened to prudence? The similarities between Brown and Bob Mugabe are frightening. Both have achieved nothing outside of politics, both are utterly incompetent economists, both have been responsible for butchering thousands, both are power mad and neither will resign.

    Can one still say cock up?

  2. Anonymous

    I read both these posts and left under a black cloud of despair.

  3. Quote: Purer than pure or cleaner than clean are alternatives which do not infer that anything other than white should be regarded with suspicion /Quote.

    If they're going to advise on language, they should learn how to use the word “infer” correctly.

    Mental pygmies.

    Frank

  4. On Hardtalk, two nights ago, the idiotic moron who thinks he's 'hard' was trying to forcefully have a go at a black South Afircan politician about their unemployment level.

    She shut him up by saying that's a problem throughout the world.

    I was hoping she'd point out what's happening here in the UK, but I guess she was more dilpomatic than the idiot interviewing her.

    I can't believe the hypocrisy and lack of shame of some people.

    Before criticising others these morons should clean up their own back yards.

    Your post has made me very angy – I'm not white but I see nothing wrong with all those terms.

    Heck, they've been going on for decades and centuries.

    It's these morons who actually make things difficult for us.

    As a result of what they do, other people assume we agree with all that crap and, as a result, we are targetted by racists even more.

  5. On Hardtalk, two nights ago, the idiotic moron who thinks he's 'hard' was trying to forcefully have a go at a black South Afircan politician about their unemployment level.

    She shut him up by saying that's a problem throughout the world.

    I was hoping she'd point out what's happening here in the UK, but I guess she was more dilpomatic than the idiot interviewing her.

    I can't believe the hypocrisy and lack of shame of some people.

    Before criticising others these morons should clean up their own back yards.

    Your post has made me very angy – I'm not white but I see nothing wrong with all those terms.

    Heck, they've been going on for decades and centuries.

    It's these morons who actually make things difficult for us.

    As a result of what they do, other people assume we agree with all that crap and, as a result, we are targetted by racists even more.

  6. Quote: Purer than pure or cleaner than clean are alternatives which do not infer that anything other than white should be regarded with suspicion /Quote.

    If they're going to advise on language, they should learn how to use the word “infer” correctly.

    Mental pygmies.

    Frank

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