You know those silly signs you sometimes see? A building is getting tarted up and they say something like, “Please forgive our appearance while we do … whatever … but soon you’ll see our wonderful new etc., etc.”
Then nothing happens for months before something not much better than the original appears …
This is not to be confused with those inane corporate jerk-offs initiated by navel-gazers in the marketing department. You know the kind I mean. They pay consultants like Wolff Olins* £68 million to dream up a new name like Expensis complete with hideous logo plastered everywhere to confuse you and a new set of prices to piss you off …
Which all goes to show you should never confuse change with improvement, and leads me to ask forgiveness if you suddenly see this blog festooned with videos of musicians playing in bars in Indonesia rather than me talking rubbish about the meaning of life …
The thing is, I suddenly find I have all kinds of stuff floating around in Cyberloonydom so if I don’t get it all to look vaguely similar even I will start to wonder who I am.
Accordingly, then, please forgive my appearance etc., etc. because everything is going to be wonderful … and if you believe that, you’ll believe anything, as the Duke of Wellington said when a man came up and asked him if he was Mr. Smith …
* The criminals responsible for the astoundingly ugly 2012 Olymics logo
Regarding the Duke of Wellington, when asked by a staff officer when he was going to introduce reforms into the army, he roared,”Reforms! Reforms! Aren't things bad enough already!”
The Roman centurion, Petronious, put it less pithily, but more comprehensively:
“We trained hard to meet our challenges but it seemed as if every time we were beginning to form into teams we would be re-organised. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by re-organising; and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency and demoralisation.”
Lastly, an old family firm called Eadon Lilley in Cambridge, 'modernised' by doing a complete revamp. The result was WORSE by far than the charm of yesteryear which customers felt comfortable with. Where is Eadon Lilley now? Dead as a door nail.
Regarding the Duke of Wellington, when asked by a staff officer when he was going to introduce reforms into the army, he roared,”Reforms! Reforms! Aren't things bad enough already!”
The Roman centurion, Petronious, put it less pithily, but more comprehensively:
“We trained hard to meet our challenges but it seemed as if every time we were beginning to form into teams we would be re-organised. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by re-organising; and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency and demoralisation.”
Lastly, an old family firm called Eadon Lilley in Cambridge, 'modernised' by doing a complete revamp. The result was WORSE by far than the charm of yesteryear which customers felt comfortable with. Where is Eadon Lilley now? Dead as a door nail.