File this under “I’m ashamed to be British”

I thought nothing could depress me more in recent months than all the witless boasting in the British garbage press about what England would do in the World Cup – followed by the depressing charade they put on.

But then I opened yesterday’s New York Post to read about “suave Brit” Adam Lyons,”famous in the U.K. as a teacher of pick-up artistry”. He’s running 3-day Pick-Up Boot Camps for desperate males at $1,400 a kick, together with his newly found American Mate Amanda.

Never having heard of this man with a face like a grinning chipmunk – probably because he’s married himself a Green Card – I wondered if, even at this late date, I could pick up the odd hint.

He suggested that “If you’re watching the ice-skaters at Bryant Park and someone takes a fall, you could turn to the girl next to you and say, “Wow, that guy just totally wiped out … how embarrassing, right?”

Well, I guess you could. And if she was even remotely intelligent she would be well within her rights to give you a quick, but vigorous kick in the balls.

They used to have those initials, FILTH – Failed In London, Try Hong-Kong – for all the braying twats who went there to Lord it over the far more intelligent Chinese.

Could anyone suggest something based around Fucked Up in London, Loser in New York?

Forget it. Maybe the kind of people who take the New York Post seriously will eat up Mr. Lyons. They’ll get food poisoning.


About the Author

In 2003, the Chartered Institute of Marketing named Drayton one of 50 living individuals who have shaped today’s marketing.

He has worked in 55 countries with many of the world’s greatest brands. These include American Express, Audi, Bentley, British Airways, Cisco, Columbia Business School, Deutsche Post, Ford, IBM, McKinsey, Mercedes, Microsoft, Nestle, Philips, Procter & Gamble, Toyota, Unilever, Visa and Volkswagen.

Drayton has helped sell everything from Airbus planes to Peppa Pig. His book, Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing, out in 17 languages, has been the UK’s best seller on the subject every year since 1982. He has also run his own businesses in the U.K., Portugal and Malaysia.

He was a main board member of the Ogilvy Group, a founding member of the Superbrands Organisation, one of the first eight Honorary Fellows of the Institute of Direct Marketing and one of the first three people named to the Hall of Fame of the Direct Marketing Association of India. He has also been given Lifetime Achievement Awards by the Caples Organisation in New York and Early To Rise in Florida.

2 Comments

  1. richard m

    The magic about the U.S. is if you have a British accent, people will throw money at whatever crap you are selling. Don’t need a good product/service [and a good copy]…just a British accent.

  2. richard

    The magic about selling in America is people will buy crap from someone with a British accent (or what they think is a British accent [e.g., Australian])…no need for a great product/service [or good copy]. IT’S THE BRITISH ACCENT.

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