A little Aussie frivolity. Stop me if you’ve heard it.


An Aussie truck driver walks into an outback cafe with a full-grown emu behind him.

The waitress asks them for their orders.

The trucker says, ‘A Hamburger, Fries and a Coke,’ and turns to the emu, ‘What’s yours?’

‘Sounds great, I’ll have the same,’ says the emu.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order ‘That will be $9.40 please,’ and he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change and pays.

The next day, the man and the emu come again and he says, ‘A Hamburger, Fries and a Coke.’

The emu says, ‘Sounds great, I’ll have the same.’

Again the driver reaches into his pocket and pays with the exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. ‘The usual?’ asks the waitress.

‘No, it’s Friday night, so I’ll have a Steak, Baked Potato and a Salad,’ says the man.

‘Same for me,’ says the emu.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, ‘That will be $32.62.’

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. ‘Excuse me mate, how do you manage to always pull the exact change from your pocket every time?’

‘Well, love’ says the trucker ‘a few years ago, I was cleaning out the back shed, and found an old lamp. When I cleaned it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.

My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.’

‘That’s brilliant!’ says the waitress. ‘Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want, for as long as you live!’

‘That’s right. Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there.’ says the man.

Still curious the waitress asks, ‘What’s with the bloody emu?’

The trucker pauses, sighs, and answers, ‘My second wish was for a tall bird with a big arse and long legs, who agrees with everything I say.’

Alright, I know it’s not new, but I like it.

About the Author

In 2003, the Chartered Institute of Marketing named Drayton one of 50 living individuals who have shaped today’s marketing.

He has worked in 55 countries with many of the world’s greatest brands. These include American Express, Audi, Bentley, British Airways, Cisco, Columbia Business School, Deutsche Post, Ford, IBM, McKinsey, Mercedes, Microsoft, Nestle, Philips, Procter & Gamble, Toyota, Unilever, Visa and Volkswagen.

Drayton has helped sell everything from Airbus planes to Peppa Pig. His book, Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing, out in 17 languages, has been the UK’s best seller on the subject every year since 1982. He has also run his own businesses in the U.K., Portugal and Malaysia.

He was a main board member of the Ogilvy Group, a founding member of the Superbrands Organisation, one of the first eight Honorary Fellows of the Institute of Direct Marketing and one of the first three people named to the Hall of Fame of the Direct Marketing Association of India. He has also been given Lifetime Achievement Awards by the Caples Organisation in New York and Early To Rise in Florida.

7 Comments

  1. Drayton

    I went to a public school. arse first, thank you.

  2. Well Drayton,

    I would have bet you were a boob man

    cheers
    Warren

  3. drayton

    Nope.

    By the way I'm thinking of doing a day event over there. What d'you think?

  4. Sounds good to me… though I copied your blog about the banks to the Senior Manager – Customer Relations of St George Bank last Tuesday and I haven't heard from him since.

    Shall I ask him if the bank would like to sponsor your event to its customers? I will… if you send me the details

  5. drayton

    Has yet to be arranged, Warren. Depends on the interest, but I seem to have a lot of readers over there and I usually go down well. Come tio think of it I did litle else when In met a lady in Melbourne a few years back

  6. … brings a whole new connotation to Going Down Under

  7. Number1

    asap please! There are hundreds, probably thousands, of cash-ready entrepreneurs in the major cities hungry to get a winning edge from a class act (such as yourself, I'm sure).

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