As I have noted before, the marketing press never fails to provide me with a rich compost of the ludicrous.
Australia’s AdNews did not fail me this morning with a piece that enlightened me as follows:
Telstra’s director of brand & advertising Chantal Walker has resigned, as the company announces a new role for former Microsoft marketer Inese Kingsmill.
(For non-Aussies, I should explain that Telstra – which they no doubt paid some “consultants” to think up – is the silly name for Australia’s Telephone company.)
Telstra is set to formally (as opposed to what? Casually?) announce the changes today, which see Kingsmill take a newly created role as director of business unit marketing & communications.
Kingsmill was director of strategy, marketing and programs at Microsoft
Walker was second in charge to former executive director of marketing Amanda Johnston-Pell, who resigned from the company and was acting executive director of marketing during Johnston-Pell’s maternity leave.
All these changes, it seems, are the work of chief marketing officer Kate McKenzie who has also appointed former adman Mark Collis as director of creativity, innovation and brand strategy.
What, you may ask, do all these people with their pretentious titles do? Apart from reading and writing incomprehensible reports, attending meetings and waiting to get new titles?
In that excellent, though somewhat weighty tome “Commonsense Direct and Interactive Marketing” the author, Drayton Bird, draws attention to a questionnaire sent to senior U.S. marketing executives designed to find out what they knew about marketing.
The people who ran it concluded that if every respondent had answered “I don’t know” to every question” the average marks would have been higher.
So statistically these highly paid people in the world’s most advanced market knew less than sod-all about what they are supposed to do.
If you too are sometimes bemused by the tidal wave of guff and the army of creeps who promise a magic formula that guarantees you endless cash while you sleep you may like the free webinar I run on Monday next.
It is called The Bare Essentials of Marketing in 60 Minutes, and you can register here. I have developed it for two reasons.
1. When I was speaking at Perry Marshall’s London event 5 days ago I told delegates I would talk about anything they liked. This is what most of them asked for. They loved it, so you may too
2. It will introduce you to my own event which runs on 27th – 30th October here in London.
Don’t worry – this is not a prelude to one of those product launch formula nightmares where hordes of people send you emails about their best friend Drayton Bird the genius.
It’s just a foretaste of the event, so you can make your mind up whether it interests you or not. A fair percentage of previous attendees say it changed their lives.
At the very least you will leave knowing a damn sight more about marketing and how to make money in the real world than a lot of people who have fancy titles – but no idea what they’re doing.
But you can make your own mind up by joining me here.
'In that excellent, though somewhat weighty tome “Commonsense Direct and Interactive Marketing” the author, Drayton Bird'
' Drayton Bird the genius'
You should hire this Bird fellow, he sounds quite good at what he does 🙂
Drayton, just registered for the webinar – your blog post advertises it as on Monday, but there is no time published on the registration page or in the thank you email. What time should I attend?
Like a fool I never put in the time — maybe because I wrote this in the middle of the night. 2 pm. GMT.