“How sweet it is to be loved by you” – or maybe not. The Mumpers are at it for Thanksgiving

A touching display: people I never met and don’t want to rush to tell me how much they care.

I have just finished reading a book set in 1380 which uses the wonderful word Mumper – “a begging impostor”.

Did it ever occur to you that every new advance in communication must have led to a new crime wave?

When people learned to speak I wager it wasn’t ten minutes before someone started lying. And how soon after the invention of writing d’you think the first phony begging letter was written? Not long, you can be sure.

And now we have cyberspace. This means more people than ever before can be ripped off faster than ever before.

Have you have suffered from credit card fraud? I have – several times.  And where once people wrote letters about the money awaiting me in the bank account of a dead benefactor, now I get emails. And how many times do I still get messages about bank accounts I don’t have?

It never stops, and never will.

Internet Mumpers are the people who swear you can write a book over the weekend, or become an expert at anything in two shakes of a lamb’s tail.

The best joke at your expense is gloriously simple in its circularity.

If you pay them enough they will reveal how they make lots of money by conning people like you into giving them lots of money.

They’re a friendly bunch, though. I’ve been amazed at how many have rushed to wish me a happy thanksgiving for being their friend – which I’m not – or their customer – which I’m not.

We don’t have Thanksgiving here, but hey, Happy Thanksgiving.  And beware of Mumpers.

 

 

About the Author

In 2003, the Chartered Institute of Marketing named Drayton one of 50 living individuals who have shaped today’s marketing.

He has worked in 55 countries with many of the world’s greatest brands. These include American Express, Audi, Bentley, British Airways, Cisco, Columbia Business School, Deutsche Post, Ford, IBM, McKinsey, Mercedes, Microsoft, Nestle, Philips, Procter & Gamble, Toyota, Unilever, Visa and Volkswagen.

Drayton has helped sell everything from Airbus planes to Peppa Pig. His book, Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing, out in 17 languages, has been the UK’s best seller on the subject every year since 1982. He has also run his own businesses in the U.K., Portugal and Malaysia.

He was a main board member of the Ogilvy Group, a founding member of the Superbrands Organisation, one of the first eight Honorary Fellows of the Institute of Direct Marketing and one of the first three people named to the Hall of Fame of the Direct Marketing Association of India. He has also been given Lifetime Achievement Awards by the Caples Organisation in New York and Early To Rise in Florida.

4 Comments

  1. Penelope P

    Did you misspell tail because only you can?

  2. The internet style hucksters have been around for ever. I remember a story from my youth – WELL before the internet – which told of an advertisement that said ‘Send me five pounds and I will tell you how to make easy money’. You sent off your money and you got a reply that said ‘Do what I do’.
    John

  3. Perhaps there should be an annual Mumpers award.

    Set up a WordPress site where anyone could nominate a particularly offensive mumper and they could be assessed and judged by a distinguished panel chaired by you Drayton and awarded the annual prize. I am sure that your many readers and correspondents could come up with something appropriate as the prize. here is my suggestion. A million shares in Enron Corporation stock. Its NYSE ticker symbol was ENE which I believe stands for Expect Nothing, Ever.
    John

  4. George from Denver

    What a charming label to add to my lexicon of cons! Right after WW II (’46 or ’47) an enterprising sort put an ad in the Los Angeles Times want-ads, “Last chance to send your dollar to Post Office Box….” The anal-retentive types (bureaucrats) were beside themselves with anxiety because they were sure the person was an evil-doer, but he hadn’t broken any laws. You know what came next: city council passed a law. It was reported that the gentleman had made a real haul–and left town. NOT SO EXCEPTIONAL THINKER has the right of it: the hucksters have been around forever. It’s a good thing to know about these folks. Has anybody put together a file of cons and variants? That would be a fascinating read. Thank you for posting about Mumpers!

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