Introducing Verruca Marketing. Is this the most fatuous statement this year (outside politics)

Tsars of this, Tsars of that.  Now a chiropodist is hailed as a “thought leader”.  Whatever next?

No wonder marketers are laughed at in the boardroom.

I just read a message from yet another bloody marketing “guru” who said I would learn a lot from a chiropodist who is a “thought leader”.

What about? Ingrown toe nails? Dry skin? Verrucas?

Mind you after the pathetic attempts of the politicians here to solve all problems by copying the US and appointing Tsars of this, that and the other instead of doing something intelligent what can you expect?

Don’t the buffoons know that absolutely nothing has been achieved over there by a series of Drug Tsars? Don’t they know what happened to the Tsars of Russia?

You have to wonder how these people can take themselves seriously.

The only thing you have to take seriously is results. Which leads me to the inevitable commercial, so you can switch off now.

In a day or so I shall be explaining why the people from one of the world’s most successful financial publications feel they must, yet again, send two people to http://www.eadim.com/.

If you want results, rather than another load of sad horse-doo-doo from “Gurus” maybe you should be there too.

About the Author

In 2003, the Chartered Institute of Marketing named Drayton one of 50 living individuals who have shaped today’s marketing.

He has worked in 55 countries with many of the world’s greatest brands. These include American Express, Audi, Bentley, British Airways, Cisco, Columbia Business School, Deutsche Post, Ford, IBM, McKinsey, Mercedes, Microsoft, Nestle, Philips, Procter & Gamble, Toyota, Unilever, Visa and Volkswagen.

Drayton has helped sell everything from Airbus planes to Peppa Pig. His book, Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing, out in 17 languages, has been the UK’s best seller on the subject every year since 1982. He has also run his own businesses in the U.K., Portugal and Malaysia.

He was a main board member of the Ogilvy Group, a founding member of the Superbrands Organisation, one of the first eight Honorary Fellows of the Institute of Direct Marketing and one of the first three people named to the Hall of Fame of the Direct Marketing Association of India. He has also been given Lifetime Achievement Awards by the Caples Organisation in New York and Early To Rise in Florida.

9 Comments

  1. Jamie

    I chuckle at the term “thought leader”. It implies that the person thinks more than they actually do, and I’m more of a “get it done” kind of guy.

    1. Drayton

      It is a bit of a laugh, really. I was reading about Socrates a while ago. Far more intelligent than most of these people. As one Muslim philosopher put it, “Everything is in Socrates”

  2. Rezbi

    “Don’t they know what happened to the Tsars of Russia?”

    Love that line. So obvious but goes over the head of most.

    As you know, I was at eadim 2009 and got more from that than most of the rubbish I studied over the years.

  3. Once again Drayton you have whacked the nail on the head. These jackass politicians should read Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged to find out what happens when the machine stops running.

    1. Drayton

      I think we’ve have a worse set than usual for the past few years. Look what they’ve done with the money. In 1964 I was paid £2,200 a year. I lived the life of Reilly. Today you need about £60,000 to do as well. I used to have a slap-up three course lunch for two with wine in Mayfair for £3.00. Yesterday I paid £155 for 5 people – only two of whom were drinking alcohol (we were the smiling members of the party) and only one of whom had three courses.

  4. Ross Boardman

    Got to admit that “ninja” has to be up there with guru and rock star. So basically you train for many years in the art of silent death and total stealth. I guess that applies to quite a few marketing “ninjas” out there?

    1. Drayton

      Where the hell this obsession with Eastern mystics came from I have no idea. I remember years ago mistakenly buying a silly book that propagated the thesis that US business men were a sort of Samurai. This of course just before the Japanese economy went into a 30 year nosedive.

      I think that was around the time of all those silly shows featuring the moody American actor pretending quite unsuccessfully to be Japanese. Then of course there is this fatuous guff whereby anybody successful for more than five years becomes a “legend.”

      Now this country has a man running the Bank of England whose chief qualifications seem to be a) looking like George Clooney’s less attractive brother and b) having left Canada just before all his chickens come home to roost.

      But then again, it’s a two way street. The New York Times has hired the man who screwed up the BBC so totally.

  5. Peter

    Never sure why anyone thought Tsar was a good title. It, along with Kaiser, comes from the old Roman title Caesar. The Romans thought so highly of them that all but four were assassinated. Not sure that’s a path I would want to follow.

    Whatever the original thoughts about wanting to use this title it has long since been devalued, that’s if it ever had a value.

    As for chiropodist being thought leaders I checked and as far as I know the statement was not issued on the first of April. I suppose if your job is just to spend your days looking at peoples feet you have lots of time to think.

    1. Drayton

      Very funny! I must scrutinise my feet more closely

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