Phoney University awards MBA to dog – and my experience of business studies in Tehran

The magical day I became an MBA – and a DBA, too. And why you shouldn’t hire me or my four footed fellow academic MBA University-dog

The dog, who is called Pete, lives in Battersea Dogs’ Home, and he must be the most qualified hound in south London, having recently been awarded a Master’s degree in business.

He got it from a bunch of rogues called The American University of London (AUOL), who operate in the Wild West of the web like a lot of other frauds.

BBC’s Newsnight discovered that getting the degree without any work at all was not too hard. You just need to pay for it. The dog must have been saving up, because it costs £4,500.

The Newsnight investigator made up a one-page fake CV for a management consultant named Peter Smith, living in South London. It included 15 years of made-up work experience and a fictitious undergraduate degree from a UK university.

Four days after applying, AUOL sent Pete an e-mail saying his application for a degree based on previous experience had been successful and that once they had received the dosh he would be registered as an MBA graduate in about two weeks.

Why am I not surprised to learn something else: hundreds of senior executives including CEOs have qualifications from AUOL.  Maybe that explains something about some of the corporate wankers I’ve come across

It’s not much help, anyhow. Research I read a few years back showed that the firms with the greatest percentage of MBAs are the least profitable.

This is a bit of a worry, because last year when I was lecturing at the Mahan business school in Tehran – Iran’s finest – they gave me an honorary MBA and an honorary DBA for good measure.

Unfortunately I cannot display the spectacularly vulgar statuette I was given as they spelled my name wrong.

Also, they still owe me half my fee. My partner Al bet me I wouldn’t get paid. He was half right.

About the Author

In 2003, the Chartered Institute of Marketing named Drayton one of 50 living individuals who have shaped today’s marketing.

He has worked in 55 countries with many of the world’s greatest brands. These include American Express, Audi, Bentley, British Airways, Cisco, Columbia Business School, Deutsche Post, Ford, IBM, McKinsey, Mercedes, Microsoft, Nestle, Philips, Procter & Gamble, Toyota, Unilever, Visa and Volkswagen.

Drayton has helped sell everything from Airbus planes to Peppa Pig. His book, Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing, out in 17 languages, has been the UK’s best seller on the subject every year since 1982. He has also run his own businesses in the U.K., Portugal and Malaysia.

He was a main board member of the Ogilvy Group, a founding member of the Superbrands Organisation, one of the first eight Honorary Fellows of the Institute of Direct Marketing and one of the first three people named to the Hall of Fame of the Direct Marketing Association of India. He has also been given Lifetime Achievement Awards by the Caples Organisation in New York and Early To Rise in Florida.

4 Comments

  1. David

    I subscribe to a hundred blogs and newsletters and your blog is, officially, the only one I open right away.

    1. Drayton

      Thank you David. The funniest comment I have received so far is from a lady who wrote saying I write to here more than her son, and she loves it. I used to love it too, but I can’t remember what it was. Sorry … off-topic:-)

  2. I have a friend who applied to a dodgy uni in California for a doctorate. It cost far less than this outfit charges, around £1500, and with this he has persuaded the local council to paint a reserved parking space outside his London home with the word DOCTOR. Considering the cost of parking spaces and/or garages in London, this was a seriously good investment.

    1. Drayton

      How excellent. Which reminds me that the murderous “Dr” Ian Paisley bought his doctorate from one of these degree-printing organisations. I think he bought First Class Hons in Hatred with Honoris Causae for Abusing old Purple Slippers. Can’t recall where the IRA lot got their degrees.

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