From the dung-heaps of the web rises the stench of vintage poppycock and hypocrisy. But some mugs inhale it gladly

If you believe that, Sir, you will believe anything” said the Duke of Wellington when a man asked if he was Mr John Smith

At the time this exchange took place, the Duke of Wellington was the most recognised person on earth, so his reply was not unreasonable.

But it prompts me to ask: would you like to be led into battle, your life at stake, by a general who had never fought a war?

This question is prompted by two things. First someone in my AskDrayton group asked if one could “become a marketing consultant without working for an employer. Can you read books, listen to audios, etc. then go and get your own clients?”

This is not such a stupid question, because quite a few people seem to have done just that.

The internet is crawling with coaches and experts who have never achieved a damn thing. I have never in my life come across such absurdity or so many fools who have not noticed it.

A flood of hucksters are making money not by working for clients but by telling other people how to make money.

My question is also prompted by a true story.

Two years or so ago Al and I went to see  a genuine expert in a particular field who sought our help. I thought they had every chance of making a mint, and we set to work. My colleagues and I invested a good 100 hours of time in research and copy.

But it all came to nothing. This person decided to trust a man whose background was in media, and whose chief skill was great energy and a prodigious talent for making promises.

I was not a happy bunny. We decided the field  in question had great potential, so we had a go ourselves just for the hell of it.

It was really a  side show  and we lost interest after a little while, but last week  we pulled in $1,404 without lifting a finger – and that is a typical figure. To be honest I would never have noticed, except that we discovered the client who was so seduced by big promises made exactly four sales in the entire month.

One can only recall George Bernard Shaw’s joke: “Those who can, do; those who cannot, teach”. Perhaps I should update it by pointing out that most who claim to teach can’t do that either. They just lie.

Particularly nauseating are the glib statements some  put at the end of their messages. One I just received says “we pour our hearts and souls into helping entrepreneurs and authors like you.” No; they want to make money. Another wants to multiply my income. No; he wants to multiply his. Yet another “stands for everything that’s possible” for me. No; he stands for everything he can extract from me.

The original of these – and best by far – was, I think, from Gary Bencivenga. He just signed off “To your success” – and gave damn good advice based on real success. Or maybe it was Clayton Makepeace – who also  practices what he preaches.

I believe in the virtuous circle. I write and advise real clients who need to sell real stuff. My results – successes and failures – feed my knowledge. I pass on that knowledge to others.

You will find it at AskDrayton. And if you know anywhere in the world where you can get better value for £20 a month, let me know. I’ll sign up.

About the Author

In 2003, the Chartered Institute of Marketing named Drayton one of 50 living individuals who have shaped today’s marketing.

He has worked in 55 countries with many of the world’s greatest brands. These include American Express, Audi, Bentley, British Airways, Cisco, Columbia Business School, Deutsche Post, Ford, IBM, McKinsey, Mercedes, Microsoft, Nestle, Philips, Procter & Gamble, Toyota, Unilever, Visa and Volkswagen.

Drayton has helped sell everything from Airbus planes to Peppa Pig. His book, Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing, out in 17 languages, has been the UK’s best seller on the subject every year since 1982. He has also run his own businesses in the U.K., Portugal and Malaysia.

He was a main board member of the Ogilvy Group, a founding member of the Superbrands Organisation, one of the first eight Honorary Fellows of the Institute of Direct Marketing and one of the first three people named to the Hall of Fame of the Direct Marketing Association of India. He has also been given Lifetime Achievement Awards by the Caples Organisation in New York and Early To Rise in Florida.

5 Comments

  1. Ross Boardman

    Drayton,

    Three questions clients should ask their prospective advisors:

    1 Do you know what we need?
    2 Do you have the competence to deliver what you think we need?
    3 When you disappear into the sunset, can we look after what you have done for us?

    How often do they ask any of those questions?

    Ross

    1. Drayton

      Very rarely do they ask all three.

      I think they often ask the second

      To cover off the first I send people my general briefing template.

      Nobody has ever asked me the third, but sometimes I suggest that at a certain point they can indeed – and should- do it themselves.

  2. Ok, I don’t quite get it.

    1. You are an expert in persuasion.
    2. There are certain people who should buy from you & don’t.

    Why is that?

    1. Drayton

      I think I did reply to this, didn’t I?

  3. Phil Rowson

    All very true, as usual. On blogging websites the articles with the most hits, consistently, are the ones promising to tell you how to get more hits.

    What is laughable is the fact that quite often you know this person has only just started out. But the one thing they have learned is that telling other people all about it, writing ‘advisory’ articles is a route to some success.

    Newcomers pounce on these articles.

    The web updates the old saying one born every minute to, at a minimum, 1000 born every micro second.

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