“Physician, heal thyself”: Confessions of a smart-arse

I am often shocked when I abuse others for sins I commit myself. I should be shot. This time there was a happy ending

Recently I got an email from Peter Smith of Marketing Doctors. It had a pretty good subject line – “90% wastage” – and began:

IDG, and many others, are reporting that over 90% of marketing material is going straight into the bin. 

The main reason so much misses the mark is because the content isn’t relevant, often by a very wide margin. Other reasons include failing to clearly put across the benefits rather than the features – you’d be amazed at how much stuff we see that doesn’t even state a value proposition!

I then sent a snotty reply saying one reason stuff fails is bad targeting – which is far more important that whether the message itself is good, and suggesting I was not an ideal prospect.

Peter, whom I have never met, replied quite apologetically and said my name was on a list he rented. I could have told him – and did – that most business to business lists are utter crap which was the case.

He then said that the results they had got were nothing spectacular and I made some highly critical remarks about his copy and offering with suggestions on how to improve.

Few people have the courage to accept criticism, let alone act upon it. He did and wrote to me yesterday as follows:

I took your advice and on Monday, sent out a very tightly written email, complete with focused attachment, promoting my ability to deliver outstanding customer case studies.

It produced 12 phone calls and email responses, from which I’ve secured three meetings and four potential pieces of work.

Well, that made me happy. But I thought – almost as soon as I sent my first message to him – “What a sickening wretch I am. I have a list as long as your arm of the things I do wrong.”

These include:

• Bad targeting!!!!
• Especially selling to people who have already bought. Still haven’t sorted that out.
• Not using direct mail when I know it works.
• Planning badly.
• Over optimism.
• Not segmenting.
• Sudden fits of enthusiasm based on things or people I fall in love with.
• Trying to do too many things.
• Being needlessly rude.
• Not reading briefs properly.
• Negotiating poorly.
• Showing off.
• Not managing my database well – if at all.
• Being a bloody know-all.

So there you are. It should cheer you up. If I can do well with such a list of failings, surely you can succeed.

Three things are essential, though.

Study, hard work and persistence.