My night with Sir Les Patterson – and my other most embarassing moment

If you don’t know who this great man is, well, what a cultural experience you’ve missed.


He has been described as obese, lecherous and offensive, which goes to show that in the world of politics John Prescott has competition.


But let me tell you more.

In the ’60s when the world was young and so was I, a strip cartoon in Private Eye gave me great joy every week.

It recounted the picaresque adventures of its hero, an Aussie bloke in London called Barry McKenzie. To this day I recall with delight one phrase for eructation: “Pointing Percy at the Porcelain”.

The author of this delightful production was Barry Humphries, who has been adding to the dwindling stock of public pleasure ever since under various guises, the most famous being Sir Les Patterson – as seen at his best above – and Dame Edna Everage.

You can stuff your Crocodile Dundees. Barry is streets ahead. He is the ultimate master of taking the piss. Although it’s very Australian, I think anyone with a sense of humour and who hates politicians will enjoy the little extract below.

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/national/sir-les-patterson-celebrates-australia-day/story-e6frf7l6-1225992895337

Barry Humphries is also extraordinarily polite, civilised and forgiving, as I learned when I met him some years ago in Sydney. My genial host – not Barry, but a friend called Michael Ball who took me to Barry’s for dinner – had filled me up with good wine in advance. He must have regretted his hospitality ever since.


I behaved appallingly as I recall, trying (I feel ashamed just thinking about it) to make an impression and, God help me, maybe even flirt with the beautiful lady next to me. Not a good move: she was Barry’s wife.

He said nothing about my antics, just carried on talking in the most entertaining way you can imagine. A gentleman and scholar – but what a boor I was.

This was the second most embarrassing evening I can recall, but I have a queasy feeling that there have been others I don’t.

The most awful one involved The Duke of Edinburgh and David Ogilvy. I will save that for another time.

About the Author

In 2003, the Chartered Institute of Marketing named Drayton one of 50 living individuals who have shaped today’s marketing.

He has worked in 55 countries with many of the world’s greatest brands. These include American Express, Audi, Bentley, British Airways, Cisco, Columbia Business School, Deutsche Post, Ford, IBM, McKinsey, Mercedes, Microsoft, Nestle, Philips, Procter & Gamble, Toyota, Unilever, Visa and Volkswagen.

Drayton has helped sell everything from Airbus planes to Peppa Pig. His book, Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing, out in 17 languages, has been the UK’s best seller on the subject every year since 1982. He has also run his own businesses in the U.K., Portugal and Malaysia.

He was a main board member of the Ogilvy Group, a founding member of the Superbrands Organisation, one of the first eight Honorary Fellows of the Institute of Direct Marketing and one of the first three people named to the Hall of Fame of the Direct Marketing Association of India. He has also been given Lifetime Achievement Awards by the Caples Organisation in New York and Early To Rise in Florida.

2 Comments

  1. peter hobday

    I took son Anthony to see Sir Les Patterson. Les took an instant liking to him and gave him a nice a box of chocolates. By far the nicest person I have ever met from the Court of St James.

    Reply
  2. GoldenAppleCorps

    'The most awful one involved The Duke of Edinburgh and David Ogilvy'

    A brilliant hook! I'm now desperately waiting to hear this story!

    Reply

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