Introducing a new definition of insanity

You probably know Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result.

In business insanity is working like a dog to create something you hope and pray will make you and your family rich… but not marketing it properly.

You and I see this every day and it happens for one of two short-sighted reasons.

1. People are too cheap to pay someone who know how do the job well, or…

2. The lazy buggers can’t be arsed to learn themselves … because “anyone can sell. It’s not rocket science”.

Both are sheer, utter, mind-boggling, f**kwit lunacy.

Here’s an email I got about a week ago.

It is by no means the worst of its kind, but makes some disastrous and silly mistakes. Amateur night at the opera, folks.

Please note: this is signed by the founder of the firm – and is insane in three disastrous ways:

1. As Ogilvy noted the headline represents 80% of your investment. 8 out of 10 readers go no further. I wager the figure is worse in emails. That line doesn’t even try to say what the hell they sell – let alone its benefits. Just their (meaningless) name and mine. This is THE most important part of an email. The company’s boss clearly doesn’t even know that. Sweet Jesus!

2. You and I constantly get people asking to “grab a couple minutes” or asking for a “brief chat” or however they try to conceal wanting to bore the shit out of you. We have better ways to pass the limited time we have on earth – like taking the dog for a walk.

3. Nearly all the copy – assuming people actually bother to read on after seeing the dumb subject line – is about the writer and how wonderful his or her service is. Idle boasting.

The best thing is at the end where it says “Could I chisel out…?” which is a nice phrase. So this person can write, which makes the whole charade even sadder.

I get a whole slew of e-mails from people offering me this stuff, web design and development etc. I bet you do too.

So this writer is in a viciously competitive market. It is mad, insane, crazy, bonkers, and f**ing idiotic not to sell properly, or pay someone else to do it for you.

But there’s an even cheaper option that will save (and earn you) a lot more than it costs.

If you, like the person who signed that email, can already write come with a colleague or two to the lively city of Bristol…

And I’ll show you how to write e-mails that will save and earn you loads of moolah or your money back on October 25th.

Go on! Don’t just sit there thinking about it. Losers think about it. Winners do it.

Best,

Drayton

About the Author

In 2003, the Chartered Institute of Marketing named Drayton one of 50 living individuals who have shaped today’s marketing.

He has worked in 55 countries with many of the world’s greatest brands. These include American Express, Audi, Bentley, British Airways, Cisco, Columbia Business School, Deutsche Post, Ford, IBM, McKinsey, Mercedes, Microsoft, Nestle, Philips, Procter & Gamble, Toyota, Unilever, Visa and Volkswagen.

Drayton has helped sell everything from Airbus planes to Peppa Pig. His book, Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing, out in 17 languages, has been the UK’s best seller on the subject every year since 1982. He has also run his own businesses in the U.K., Portugal and Malaysia.

He was a main board member of the Ogilvy Group, a founding member of the Superbrands Organisation, one of the first eight Honorary Fellows of the Institute of Direct Marketing and one of the first three people named to the Hall of Fame of the Direct Marketing Association of India. He has also been given Lifetime Achievement Awards by the Caples Organisation in New York and Early To Rise in Florida.

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