A few more jokes

I bet that fooled you.

You thought I was going to talk about the Demented Toad’s idea of filling workhouses with teenage mothers — but no, not yet.

I got this old faithful which still makes me laugh from my old pal Glenmore:

A firefighter was working on the fire engine outside the Fire Station.

Suddenly he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides, and a garden hose, tightly coiled in the middle.

The girl was wearing a firefighter’s helmet. The wagon was being pulled along by her dog and her cat.

The firefighter walked over to take a closer look.

”That sure is a nice red fire truck you got there,” the firefighter said with admiration.

”Why, thank you,” the little girl replied.

The firefighter looked a little closer.

The girl had tied the wagon to her dog’s collar and to the cat’s testicles.

”Little partner,” the firefighter said, “I don’t want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat’s collar, I think you could go faster.”

The little girl nodded happily, ”You’re probably right Mister; but then I wouldn’t have a siren.”

Now that I’ve got you in the mood, here’s something else Glenmore sent me to look at:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/google/6161567/The-20-funniest-suggestions-from-Google-Suggest.html

Hilarious!

Going back to the workhouses, do you notice a few familiar themes?

Why did the girls get pregnant?

First, because Gordon’s tax and benefits system rewards illegitimacy; second, because Gordon’s broken education system doesn’t train them to get decent jobs; third because Gordon’s magnificent economic management means there are no bloody jobs …

That is, except for the social workers who will “supervise” all these girls. And who will pay for them you may wonder? Look in the mirror, fellow tax payer.

About the Author

In 2003, the Chartered Institute of Marketing named Drayton one of 50 living individuals who have shaped today’s marketing.

He has worked in 55 countries with many of the world’s greatest brands. These include American Express, Audi, Bentley, British Airways, Cisco, Columbia Business School, Deutsche Post, Ford, IBM, McKinsey, Mercedes, Microsoft, Nestle, Philips, Procter & Gamble, Toyota, Unilever, Visa and Volkswagen.

Drayton has helped sell everything from Airbus planes to Peppa Pig. His book, Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing, out in 17 languages, has been the UK’s best seller on the subject every year since 1982. He has also run his own businesses in the U.K., Portugal and Malaysia.

He was a main board member of the Ogilvy Group, a founding member of the Superbrands Organisation, one of the first eight Honorary Fellows of the Institute of Direct Marketing and one of the first three people named to the Hall of Fame of the Direct Marketing Association of India. He has also been given Lifetime Achievement Awards by the Caples Organisation in New York and Early To Rise in Florida.

4 Comments

  1. archie

    I'm thinking of applying for one of the supervisor's positions, but I think they may be inundated with applications

    http://newsarse.com/2009/09/30/frantic-bidding-begins-to-run-governments-new-slag-houses/

    Reply
  2. Drayton Bird

    Oh, my God … utterly hilarious, Archie.

    Reply
  3. DaveC

    Sorry to post a downer after such hilarity…

    http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2663036/Tony-Blair-to-head-the-EU-within-weeks.html

    or

    http://tinyurl.com/y9em8td

    Reply
  4. Drayton Bird

    Could even the Bliar screw up Europe further? Don't all shout out at once …

    Reply

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