Pardon me while I throw up …

… with enthusiasm … all over the people who think it reasonable for Mr. Stephen “Piggy” Hester to get paid £9.6 million for sorting out the Royal Bank of Scotland for a year or two.

HAS HE EVER RUN A BANK?

No.

Has he ever run anything long enough to find out if he’s any good at sorting out disasters?

No.

Pray tell me, Oh Great and Good of the Land, is it really impossible to get anyone competent to do the job, which is not nuclear physics, for a reasonable salary?

I’m sorry. I don’t believe you. There is not one sane person in Britain who believes you. There is not one sane person in Britain who does not believe that this sort of rubbish has gone on for too long.

There is not one sane person in Britain who is not angry about this giant organised piss-take, which we see taking place everywhere we look – parliament, industry everywhere – at our expense.

I really must calm down.

About the Author

In 2003, the Chartered Institute of Marketing named Drayton one of 50 living individuals who have shaped today’s marketing.

He has worked in 55 countries with many of the world’s greatest brands. These include American Express, Audi, Bentley, British Airways, Cisco, Columbia Business School, Deutsche Post, Ford, IBM, McKinsey, Mercedes, Microsoft, Nestle, Philips, Procter & Gamble, Toyota, Unilever, Visa and Volkswagen.

Drayton has helped sell everything from Airbus planes to Peppa Pig. His book, Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing, out in 17 languages, has been the UK’s best seller on the subject every year since 1982. He has also run his own businesses in the U.K., Portugal and Malaysia.

He was a main board member of the Ogilvy Group, a founding member of the Superbrands Organisation, one of the first eight Honorary Fellows of the Institute of Direct Marketing and one of the first three people named to the Hall of Fame of the Direct Marketing Association of India. He has also been given Lifetime Achievement Awards by the Caples Organisation in New York and Early To Rise in Florida.

4 Comments

  1. Phew … when I read the title I thought for that split second before registering what followed that you were going to throw up in your RyanAir sick bag on your way to Bulgaria, or wherever you are dispensing pearls of wisdom. That will soon cost you Drayton!

  2. Archie

    I think the new Mayor of Doncaster would make a much better job of it. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8116093.stm

  3. So do you really think you can 'sort out' the biggest corporate failure in british history with someone on minimum wage?

    Let's not forget his task is to reform the bank so it actually RETURNS A PROFIT to the taxpayer, more than covering the cost of the shambles caused by the imperial ambition of Fred the Shred. And Hester's salary.

    While this story makes a good headline, your bowel movements are based on its superficial detail. Unfortunately, it also makes some sense…

  4. Er … did I say something about minimum wage, Matt?

    I just said that amount of money is too much. Obscenely so.

    In the last twenty years the amount of money top execs get compared to the rest of us has escalated enormously.

    Their competence has not. Indeed, judging by today's mess perhaps the reverse.

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