Darling, what’s all this “we” shit about?

This morning I read that the Chancellor of the Exchequer, Alastair Darling says that though we face the worst recession of all developed countries we will pull through.

It reminded me of an old radio serial featuring The Lone Ranger and his faithful sidekick, Tonto, a Red Indian in those days, but now, as the PC hordes say, a Native American.

The dialogue went:

Lone Ranger: Comanche ahead of us! Apache behind us! Cheyenne on that side! Sioux on the other! What do we do, Tonto?

Tonto: What’s with all this “we” shit, paleface?

So, Alastair, what’s with all this “we” shit?

YOU will pull though with your index-linked pension. The Great Bloated Haggis will pull through with his index-linked pension. But we will be paying the bill for your fuck-ups for decades.

Come to think of it, I’d almost forgotten how the Haggis halved the value of my pension.

He taxed the shit out of it to pay for all those brilliant initiatives – as in Iraq, Afghanistan and “let’s hire lots more gay, lesbian and transgendered activity-coordinators who’ll vote for us”. Maybe they get index-linked pensions, too.

The truth is, this country is divided between the ponces – the people who create nothing and wouldn’t know how to – and the rest of us.

The rest of us are seriously pissed off.

About the Author

In 2003, the Chartered Institute of Marketing named Drayton one of 50 living individuals who have shaped today’s marketing.

He has worked in 55 countries with many of the world’s greatest brands. These include American Express, Audi, Bentley, British Airways, Cisco, Columbia Business School, Deutsche Post, Ford, IBM, McKinsey, Mercedes, Microsoft, Nestle, Philips, Procter & Gamble, Toyota, Unilever, Visa and Volkswagen.

Drayton has helped sell everything from Airbus planes to Peppa Pig. His book, Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing, out in 17 languages, has been the UK’s best seller on the subject every year since 1982. He has also run his own businesses in the U.K., Portugal and Malaysia.

He was a main board member of the Ogilvy Group, a founding member of the Superbrands Organisation, one of the first eight Honorary Fellows of the Institute of Direct Marketing and one of the first three people named to the Hall of Fame of the Direct Marketing Association of India. He has also been given Lifetime Achievement Awards by the Caples Organisation in New York and Early To Rise in Florida.

4 Comments

  1. Steve Gibson

    Surely, we can all play the “we” game?

    If taxpayers in the UK are going to be shackled to this debt for 20 years, then why be a tax payer in the UK?

    Why not move to a different country?

    I remember the brain drain in Scotland in the 1980s – things were shit here, so many of the best, most enterprising people moved to the south of England.

    Why wouldn’t that happen again, but on a larger scale and across borders?

    Steve

  2. It is happening. Many people are leaving — I think I touched on this in a piece re the hospitals where we are spending squillions on nurses and doctors who get better paid than the ones we trained … who are in turn sodding off to where they get better paid. I think this was part of dickhead Bliar’s hospitals initiative. If only, if only some of these idiots had spent ten minutes in the real world where things have to get done – or else.

  3. I sometimes wonder, Drayton, who is the real person behind your public face?
    We all know that you are wonderfully talented in your profession and generous in your time and expertise, but are you really the stupid and ignorant person you make yourself out to be?
    Your latest spray “let’s hire lots more gay, lesbian and transgendered activity-coordinators who’ll vote for us” is not untypical.
    I hope that you say these things not from conviction but from a desire to shock in the, I believe, mistaken belief that they amuse.
    You can make your points easily without such rubbish, you are frequently very funny and always right on target, so please Drayton, knock it off.
    However, if you have evidence to back up your assertions then I apologize in advance.

  4. I would never give a job to anyone who reads The Guardian and nor would I apply for one from a company who advertised in this inconveniently formatted bog roll.

    Drayton is of course right on the button. Just have a look at the jobs advertised at The guardian Online – I did purely to research the veracity of Drayton’s comments.

    In the search box I simply typed in gay. Thirteen jobs with salaries up to £100,000 were listed. Here is just one example;

    Leicester Lesbian Gay Bisexual and Transgender Centre is committed to ensuring the highest level of support, groups, training and youth services for LGBT people across Leicester, Leicestershire and Rutland. Over the past year the organisation has gone through dramatic change, leading to a more streamlined and community responsive organisation.
    NJC (PO2)
    £28,919 – £31,606 per annum
    We are now looking for a new Director to continue the development of the organisation, by providing inspiring and creative leadership.

    I think that this covers all the points raised.

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