Dr. Johnson, as you know if you read this, is perhaps my favourite person to crib from, though he made quite a few pretty sweeping and highly dubious statements. One of his best lines came when he was asked to …
Read MoreAuthor: Drayton
The rumours are a damned lie, Sir!
Not long ago a friend asked me why I keep referring to “my partner”. “Some people might think you’re gay,” he said. To be honest, I don’t give a hoot what people think, and at my age you have to …
Read MoreCountries get the rulers they deserve – and vice versa
There is an old joke which, like all jokes, only works if delivered with a straight face and solemnity: “To be born an Englishman is to win first prize in the race of life.” Anyhow, I know many of you …
Read MoreJust when you thought it was safe to come out …
You have too much crap to read already, right? So when you didn’t see a word from me, you sighed with relief. But with one bound, I’m back. From Cuba, actually Two of my partners and I went to do …
Read MoreA little musical interlude
People in my trade – direct marketing – know two infallible ways to get people’s attention: first, appeal to their greed, and second, flatter them. Doesn’t that say a lot about human nature? Sad but true. If you also say …
Read MoreBe fair to the plods!!
My partner read what I wrote earlier – and made a good point. “The police don’t bother because what’s the point of arresting the dealers? They get let out anyhow. It’s not like they’re going to jail. They’ll be out …
Read MoreDozens of chirpy crack dealers – but no police, naturally
If you’ve been reading this, you may recall my fond reminiscences of happy days with A, retired party girl, failed carving knife artiste and reformed meth fiend. In those days if you were an addict you could sign up and …
Read MoreLively Scenes from an Opera Buffa in Verona
Even the most casual reader will have noticed that I am a bit of a buffoon. But you may not know that I also love the opera. So, let me tell you what happened after the last entry in this …
Read MoreHappy birthday to me
It is 1.28 a.m. on the morning of my birthday, and I have a very early plane to catch to Milan. “What the hell am I doing still awake?” you may wonder. The answer may not make sense, but it …
Read MoreDrivel of the week
When I wrote a column in Marketing magazine some years ago, I read something that struck me forcibly. It suggested that if you make your stuff controversial enough, your readers will write your column for you by agreeing, complaining or …
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