I fear I shall not be doing much to celebrate the Jubilee over the weekend. A friend just got a new teaching job at a university, so we shall open a bottle of fizz and drink to that instead. This …
Read MoreAuthor: Drayton
And the award for the most witless, moronic, embarrassing, up-its-own-arse e-mail goes to …., well, try a firm that’s gone broke
It would seem that there is a new marketing magic abroad. It is called Depersonalisation. There is an example at the top. Let me explain. Quite rightly nobody but me, my close relatives, friends and a few kindly folk in …
Read MoreHow we all got screwed – and who did the screwing
For some time I had heard people say Robert Peston of the BBC was an extremely irritating individual. He did a programme early this week about the great European catastrophe, and I can see what they meant. As he strode …
Read MoreThis will get you better results – but don’t throw the baby out …
Years ago I did a banner ad to promote racehorse ownership which had a horse galloping across the screen pulling a message. Worked like a charm. Anyone who knows anything about online advertising is aware that ads with things happening …
Read MoreMy lost pornographic career. A little bouquet of obscenities – and what have I done with my life?
I just wrote to a friend asking why she seems to be forever having holidays in exotic places. She replied with three words. “I have tits”. Years ago when I was young and – relatively – handsome, I was asked …
Read More“Stupid is as stupid does”
My colleagues often chide me for announcing stuff, asking people to pay for it, then being astoundingly coy about what they will get in return. Quite unforgiveable – which reminds me of the headline above. I saw it in a …
Read MoreHow to write better in under 8 hilarious minutes – it frightened me to death. Plus a rueful smile for the weekend
I know a lot of you read this because you write, and want to write better. Go and have a look at this: http://tinyurl.com/bqz5zw8. John, the speaker, is one of the best writers I know. David Ogilvy thought very highly …
Read MoreConceited little twerp live and uncensored – plus two lost seminars discovered – plus one
An American friend once told me I was too modest. This would have astounded my parents – and all who knew and loathed me in the pub I was brought up in. I was seen as at best precocious and …
Read MoreHalf a conversation: The difference between talking about it and doing it; why I nearly fell off my chair – and a few little freebies
A friend manages a business that turns over a few billion, and is the leader in its field. They do it by charging less, delivering better service and marketing a lot more than their competitors. The other day he had …
Read MoreWhat is the difference between public “service” and private enterprise? With a gloriously funny letter.
Once upon a time people used to write letters to each other, and some of the finest writing I have ever read resulted. The email has put a stop to a lot of that. But to stamp out any lingering …
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