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Jerking off at Cannes … and British Telecom’s brilliant new “fuck the customer and lose money” service
I see there is to be a “global debate on creativity” at the Cannes Lions Festival – the ad-luvvies giant exercise in mutual masturbation avec cocaine that occurs every year. Perhaps they can discuss the French Connection ads which won …
Read MoreBig surprises and strange miracles in a small country – and my friend the stand-up comedian
Slovenia, where I am now, is one of the smallest and most beautiful countries in Europe. Great skiing (and cheap). Its people – about 2 million – must also be one of the most knowledgeable about marketing, largely because of …
Read More“We’re better, connected.” No, we’re not. We’re bloody livid. Plus a rather nasty couple of hours
When I first started writing copy nobody – as I noted a few days ago – had the vaguest idea what I did and trying to explain to someone normal like Tommy Cochrane, the barman at my parents’ pub, that …
Read MoreMy big fat gorgeous Greek rip-off: Amnesia rules at AOL … and Arianna laughs all the way to the bank
Many years ago there was a highly articulate, pretty little blue-stocking at Cambridge called Arianna Stassinopoulos who went on to appear on TV and lived with one of Britain’s best and funniest journalists, Bernard Levin. They parted and off she …
Read MoreGeorge Bernard Shaw was funny – but not always right – and news about the Great Mystery Branding Event
Over 40 years ago my first book was published. I sent it to Bill Melton, one of my old teachers at Trent College, with thanks for his help in shaping me. Modestly he quoted George Bernard Shaw: “Those who can …
Read More“Don’t tell my mother I’m in advertising – she thinks I play the piano in a brothel”
I think that title, from Jacques Seguela, is the most entertaining of any book about advertising, closely followed by Jerry Della Femina’s “From those wonderful folks who gave you Pearl Harbor”. But when I inveigled my way into the ad …
Read More“It’s the same the whole world over – ain’t it all a bleeding shame”
This wonderful old song line came to mind when I read a story in Malaysia’s Advertising and Marketing magazine about a pitch for the Tourism Malaysia account. The mag – which is excellent, by the way – comments that “Half …
Read MoreAntediluvian antics at Barclays Bank. Stumbling across a good idea they make their staff’s jobs impossible. What else is new?
How can one single out a particular bank in for incompetence, rapacity and all round folly? It is hard; but I have always had a soft spot for Barclays. They had a series of loopy marketing directors, all of whom …
Read MoreNeither Spick Nor Span – Just rather sloppy like my spelling, but more infuriating
I’m sorry, but this is all going to be rather tedious, so let’s start with one of my favourites: “We can always bear with equanimity the misfortunes of our friends” – De la Rochefoucauld. Since it takes weeks to get …
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