Blog – Page 65 – Drayton Bird Associates

My night with Sir Les Patterson – and my other most embarassing moment

If you don’t know who this great man is, well, what a cultural experience you’ve missed. He has been described as obese, lecherous and offensive, which goes to show that in the world of politics John Prescott has competition. But …

Students leader talks bollocks – as usual – plus a new free video coming up

Since 1975 every President of the National Union of Students has gone on to become a politician, almost invariably in the Labour Party. The best (or worst) example is Jack Straw who went on to become one of The Great …

Your bloody nightmare, as promised, Sir! Plus my Shit List

Well. moving home has lived down to its billing. The majestic new couch wouldn’t go through the door at the new place so we had to put it in storage; the cleaners hadn’t cleaned properly; the man who brought the …

Can making ice cream lead to an orgasm? – And other thoughts on leaving home

We’re moving home this week. As we all know this experience is supposed to be the third worst after bereavement and divorce, but my mood has been lightened today by a few glimpses 0f lunacy. First I saw across the …

Financial syphilis: “Give me your old, your gullible, your desperate” – Short of saying ‘this is all a pack of lies’ what could beat this?

If you’re a connoisseur of the great rip-off, “The League of Power” is always good for a laugh. I’ve been following their stuff since they first started promising me freedom by the weekend. Today they say “Life could be very …

New book and course coming up – plus a good joke that’s unfair to Americans

I have some new stuff for you soon – a new book, no less, which is really not new at all. (Yes: all marketers ARE liars). Plus a new course, which you may like. First, though, what is unfair to …

True or false? And some thoughts on writing

“Be so true to thyself as thou be not false to others” – Francis Bacon, who many thought was the “real” Shakespeare. No wonder. Among my favourite quotations is Polonius’ advice to his son Laertes in Hamlet: “This above all: …

Elevator talk: a Spanish omelette, advice from Napoleon – and what I know about you

I got three sets of questions sent to me today. One was from a U.S. professor who is writing a worryingly comprehensive book about writing to sell. One was from a client in Asia who wanted to know how often …

Here’s another fine selection of messes I’ve got myself in – but you can get me out

I have always had a strong fellow-feeling for Stan Laurel, as: 1. He was like me a Lancashire man. 2. He was always being blamed for getting himself and his colleague into fine messes. The difference between him and me …

A lesson in bad writing – and Boris Johnson’s folly

Here’s the heading to the kind of White Paper that deserves to be carefully torn into squares and stuck in an outside toilet: “Leveraging Rapid Process Application DevelopmentDeployment, Adoption and Use for Business Value” This was followed by the opening …