“Pump up the volume” – Drayton Bird Associates

You can’t beat a load of old bollocks to cheer me up, friends.

Sheer childlike delight overcame the jet-lag today when I read in the gossip column of Italy’s leading newspaper that whoever does these things at Armani had done some subtle retouching to “add more volume to the contents of his knickers” – or as we say here in London, “big up his crown jewels.”

Go large, Becks!

Seriously, though, this is a sad comment a) on the falling away of standards in Italy and b) how image has destroyed reality.

There they are, with the most beautiful, sexy women on earth. Couldn’t they have got someone to give him a bit of a tickle?

About the Author

In 2003, the Chartered Institute of Marketing named Drayton one of 50 living individuals who have shaped today’s marketing.

He has worked in 55 countries with many of the world’s greatest brands. These include American Express, Audi, Bentley, British Airways, Cisco, Columbia Business School, Deutsche Post, Ford, IBM, McKinsey, Mercedes, Microsoft, Nestle, Philips, Procter & Gamble, Toyota, Unilever, Visa and Volkswagen.

Drayton has helped sell everything from Airbus planes to Peppa Pig. His book, Commonsense Direct and Digital Marketing, out in 17 languages, has been the UK’s best seller on the subject every year since 1982. He has also run his own businesses in the U.K., Portugal and Malaysia.

He was a main board member of the Ogilvy Group, a founding member of the Superbrands Organisation, one of the first eight Honorary Fellows of the Institute of Direct Marketing and one of the first three people named to the Hall of Fame of the Direct Marketing Association of India. He has also been given Lifetime Achievement Awards by the Caples Organisation in New York and Early To Rise in Florida.

About the Author

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